Sara saved the Eve...

Wonderful and unexpected is how I would explain tonight. Complete change of how I'm feeling. Sara called me tonight and finally after like 30 mins of us trying to figure out how to video chat (and an amazing surprise of a video chat with Thaty, Gio, and Thaty's mom!!!!! Seriously the best surprise ever!!!!) Sara and I have been talking all night. This has lifted my spirits so much! I thought this would be the worst night ever cause I'm alone but it's been spectacular being able to talk and see Sara for so long! She's the best. There's a reason she's my right arm.

Just saw the new WW commercial. J Hud looks incredible! It made me think of all the new people that will be at my meeting on Monday and how badly I want to lose this week to be that much more ahead of everyone else. I did have pizza tonight but I made it myself. It was delish and satisfied my craving! It did make me go over my points today but I'm still well within my additional weekly points. I'm so happy. :)

I seriously can't wait for Thaty to get back.... Hurry home Thaty.

Officially an Emotional Eater

So today is New Year's Eve. 2010 has been the best year so far... for sure! I was really looking forward to New Year's Eve. Kyle had an opening shift and I was off. Then Kyle's area is so incredibly short that they needed his help until 1am. So now I'm alone for New Year's Eve now. I'm not upset at Kyle at all because I completely understand that he's actually helping us out cause he's on double time all day today and tomorrow. We can really use the money cause we're looking to buy a house next year. The situation sucks though.

So now I'm just home alone for new year's eve and the first thing I thought was I want to order pizza and eat ice cream. That's what I really want, and really badly too. I will let my will power prevail but this is going to be difficult. I just want anything good for me. I guess this does make me an official over eater. I need food for the house so maybe I'll go to Publix and stock up on stuff like apples and grapes to munch on.

Happy New Year!

Frustrated?

So I'm not sure how I'm feeling... hence the question mark in the title of this blog. I was pretty good this week, I measured and tracked everything. I only went over my daily points once and I used 1 weekly point. Otherwise I was either at or under my daily points. I was good with getting in my Healthy Checks and so I thought for sure I had lost this week. Now, I was right, I did lose this week. But, only 0.8 pounds. My leader Kerri would hate me for that statement. I know I'm not going to lose big every week but it's just slowed down a lot lately.

After I left my meeting yesterday, I went to... I can't even type it I'm so embarrassed... Chick Fil A! Can you believe it?! Miss will power went to Chick Fil A. Lately, everytime I leave my WW meeting, I feel the need to splurge because everyone talks about having things in moderation. I don't have anything that I crave. So I decided that because I was a week away from my next weigh in that I would go and have Chick Fil A. Now I didn't go crazy or anything. I knew what I was going to get and I knew roughly what the points would be. I didn't have breakfast and my lunch was only 2 points cause I had soup, fruits, and veggies. I had almost all my points to play with. So I get to Chick Fil A and I got a kids meal 4 count chicken nuggets, that came with a small fry, and then a medium chicken soup. Oh and of course a kids size Diet Coke because their fountain soda is my absolute favorite. All of that was only 15 points. I don't think that's that bad for a fast food splurge. I'm proud of myself for sticking to my guns and getting the kids sized meal. I debated getting a med size value meal but now I'm glad I didn't.

I didn't feel guilty at all. I was very curious to see how I would feel physically though. I assumed my tummy would be very mad at me but actually, I was just very sleepy and had a bit of a headache. I was prepared for the worst but I guess I had a small enough portion that it didn't kill me.

I thought a lot today about my eating. I am very serious about my weight loss and I think I can eat healthier than I have been. We have cake and cookies in the house because of Kyle's birthday and Christmas. I also thought more about what trends have been happening since my weight loss has slowed down. Honestly, I think it's the points plus program. I'm not saying the program doesn't work because I know it does. It has gotten me to increase my fruits and veggies a million times over. But, with this new plan, I have way too many points. I eat until I'm satisfied at every meal and I still have tons left over. I don't feel deprived from any food. Of course there are things like cheeseburgers and candy bars that I would love, and I know I can have them in moderation, but I don't want them in moderation, so I'd rather go without them at all. I'm okay with that now. It's me. I want to eat healthy. It's weird that I was almost feeling "pressured" to have a few "cheats" here and there and to "work them in to my points" but I don't want to. I like eating healthy. I know my body and if I'm seriously craving something I'll have it. Otherwise, I'm not going to "cheat" just to cheat. And I'm not going to look at my extra points in the day as "free points to eat whatever I want". I think that's what it was doing. I feel as though I have increased my carb intake because I can have bread with dinner now with all of my new points. I don't need bread though. I'm fine without it. I enjoy being healthy. If I don't eat all my points then I don't. And that's that.

I feel better.

I will still listen in the meeting about how it's important to not deprive yourself because I do agree. I am fortunate to have a really strong will power and drive to get this weight off! I'm done being fat! But I won't feel like I have to eat just because.

I really do feel better.

Sometimes it's good to just get it out.

Today I ate really well! Great lunch and snack. (got up way too early for breakfast) And when I came home, Kyle was making tortillas. I love tortillas. I knew I had already eaten all of my healthy checks and had plenty of points to spare so I helped myself to 2 of them. They were yummy and even more delicious because they were made by my love. :) I have 13 points left today and that's including the piece of cake I'm about to eat. I was never hungry today. Well not true, my bump for lunch came late so I was hungry then, but I was never hungry today because I deprived myself.

Hopefully I'll see better results soon. I can't wait to see what our meeting will be like on Monday. It's the first Monday of the new year and they're planning on it being packed. I will for sure get there early and get a good seat. I hope that I will have something great to report when Kerri asks how we did this week. And mostly I can't wait because it is week 16 which means I'll get my SAS (Stay and Succeed) charm to put on my 10% keychain. I'm excited to show all the new people that it can be done.

I am on my way to results not typical.

Merry Christmas!

I am in Merritt Island celebrating Christmas with the family. Santa was way too good to me but I am very grateful for what I got. I got a lot of things that will help me with WW! Kyle got me a food scale that will also display the nutrition facts of that food! Genius! Kyle's family also got me the WW serving spoon/measuring spoon set. I haven't used it yet but I'm already in love with it. It's a discreet way of measuring my food. I got a WW cookbook and 2 Hungry Girl cookbooks! I'll need them because I also got a new food processor, convection oven, and the big item... a pink Kitchen Aid mixer!! I can't wait to get in the kitchen and continue being healthy!

With all of this positive WW stuff going on, I may have forgotten to mention all of the temptation here in my mom's house. I usually bring my own food here cause it's easier and safer for me. I know that there will be food for me if I bring it. I'm glad I did. Lunch yesterday and today was not healthy but fortunately it wasn't tempting either. It was stuff I don't like so yesterday I had a veggie burger wrap and today I had an egg white omelette sandwich. (The egg white omelette sandwich is the best cause I get a veggie, a dairy, a whole grain, and both of my healthy oils in!) Dinner last night was ham, which I don't like, so dad made me grilled chicken. For a side, the only thing I had was rice pilaf. Not ideal but I figured out the points first, 5, then portioned it at the table. It's my favorite rice so it felt like a splurge.

Then there's dessert... my favorite Christmas dessert is a petifore. Mom has them in the house. I'm still debating if I will have one. I think I can avoid them. I'm not drooling at the site of them and I will survive without them. I'm not depriving myself because if I drive home tonight without having one, I'll be okay. I won't be thinking about it forever. It's still just tough seeing all the goodies. I brought canned pumpkin and gingerbread cookie mix with me so make my own cookies that I can enjoy. They're huge and only 3 points! And super delicious too! While everyone sat down to have desserts last night, I stayed in the kitchen and made my cookies. I didn't want to seem rude but it was just a LOT of temptation for one table! lol

Dinner will be the same as last night for me just because there will be nothing I like or even want. It's fine with me. The chicken was good. I'll only have half the rice though and have carrots too this time. I'm not normally good about eating all of my fruits and veggies while I'm not at work but I've been really good about it this week. The only thing I've slacked on is running. I'm okay with that. I'll just get back in to it with the rest of america next week. :)

Merry Christmas!!

Feeling So Motivated!!

Lately I’ve just felt really motivated and I’m loving it! I’ve been eating really healthy lately. Almost everything I eat now can count towards at least one healthy check. Of course I will occasionally have a cookie here and there but I’ve been really good about limiting myself.

Things weren’t as easy the other night though. On Monday I went to the boys’ house for Gay Christmas. It’s a tradition that’s really fun. We all get together and watch this cheesy, gay, 90’s movie called 24 Nights. Well of course food is included in this gathering. I knew this ahead of time so I was prepared and made sure to eat dinner before I got there. I had made Diet Coke cupcakes and pumpkin cookies to bring to the party. I also packed a small cooler/bag of fruit and laughing cow cheese in case I got hungry while I was there. So I thought I’d be fine… and then I got to the party.

I don’t know why I’m like this but I get this idea in the back of my head that I can slip a little on Mondays after I’ve weighed in because I have a whole week to go until the next weigh in. Well this party is on a Monday night and unfortunately I was in one of those moods that I didn’t even want to portion out my dinner. I wanted to just pig out, even if it was something healthy, I just wanted to eat something aimlessly. Thankfully I have a pretty strong will power and didn’t give in to that temptation. I realize how hard I’ve worked to get to where I am and I don’t want to mess this up for anything. So I portioned out my dinner and did allow myself to have 3 of the cookies I just made. It was only 5 points. I’m okay with that.

So anyways, I get to the party, supposedly full from dinner and then I see the food they’re offering, popcorn chicken, fried ravioli, quesadillas, and cookies. Pretty much everything I used to love. I would have had no problem eating all of that prior to WW but now I can’t. Could I have eaten them and maybe stayed within my points? Yeah, maybe. But I also know myself pretty well, and I already knew I was in that mood where I just wanted to eat everything and not stop, so I didn’t have any of it. Well I did have the tiniest of tiny bites off of one of Kyle’s quesadillas but it was cold by then so it didn’t even taste good. It was for sure the most difficult situation I’ve been in since I’ve started but I made it through. I’m so glad I stuck to my guns and didn’t falter. I’m also super glad that I brought the cheese and fruit cause I did eat them. Oh, and did I mention that they had a bowl of those Little Debbie’s Christmas Tree snack cakes… I have been dying for one lately. Every time I see them on the side of the aisles at the grocery store it makes me want them even more. I know I can work one in to my points but I just don’t want to. I need to realize that my body doesn’t need food like that. It doesn’t help me at all.

Success Stories

I am very motivated by the success stories on the WW website. I’ve read them all. It motivates me because it proves that it can happen. I especially love the before and after pictures. I used to be sad that they didn’t say how long it took them to get that way, and I understand why they don’t, but I just wanted to know realistically how long do I have to wait. Now, I don’t care if it takes me 20 years to get to my goal weight. I know I’ll get there. I’m already on the path to eating healthier and that’s what really matters. If I keep on this path, the weight will come off.

As much as I love the before and after photos, I love their ‘tips’ at the bottom of their story the best! I love seeing the ideas of people that have joined the journey of WW and succeeded. I hate reinventing the wheel and love stealing ideas from others. :) So I am going to go through and compile my favorite ‘tips’ from the success stories on WW.

*When your clothes get too big for you, throw them out as soon as possible. For me, that was like closing the door on that chapter of my life. This is one I still need to learn…
*Read the Success Stories on WeightWatchers.com. Sometimes you don’t know anyone in your personal life that has the amount of weight to lose that you do. Reading about people like me really kept me motivated to lose the weight.
*My favorite products are the scale and the measuring cups. You can track that you’re eating 4oz. of grilled chicken, but how do you really know it’s 4oz. unless you measure it? It also helps when you’re at a restaurant and in other situations where you have to “eyeball” your portions. How can you guess what ½ a cup of rice is unless you’ve seen it before?
*Use a food scale. I started out measuring my foods and 20 years later the scale is in the same spot in my kitchen. You’ll never outgrow measuring.
*Mark the POINTS values on food items as you're putting them away after grocery shopping. This saved so much time. You don't have to look the information up each time you eat.
*I do a lot of my cooking and prepping for the week on Sundays. I’ll make a big pot of turkey chili and chop vegetables to save time throughout the week.
*When I feel deprived, I’ll just tell myself, just because I can’t eat this now, it doesn’t mean I can never eat it again. I just have to plan better tomorrow or next week.
*I economize my POINTS values. I've "skinnied" up many of my favorite recipes to make them Weight Watchers friendly. I use fat-free chicken broth instead of more fattening gravies, for example, and fat-free sour cream instead of butter. And I have finally learned that I can have a few bites of something without eating the entire item and be happy with that.
*Keep tracking. Even when it seems time-consuming, make sure to track your POINTS values. Tracking is the key to keeping the weight off.
*Use common sense. If a food sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
*Don't give up!
*Don't put a time frame on your weight loss. Establishing small realistic goals is important, but don't set yourself up for disappointment by pledging to losing 10 pounds in two weeks.
*Don’t give up the foods you love to eat. Learn to eat them in moderation. This is a lifestyle, not a diet.

Weigh in Day

Weigh in day is funny to me. I don’t know when I started becoming so aware of what I ate on the day of weigh in day but I’ve been very serious about it lately. I will make sure I get in all of my Healthy Checks checked off and I make sure not to eat too close to the meeting time. I think it’s silly now. I am very motivated by the scale going down but that’s not the only reason I’m doing this. And no matter what the scale says today, I’m gonna keep going. This is my lifetime decision. So today is weigh in day and I’ve eaten my breakfast and lunch and even had a hot chocolate. (And by hot chocolate I mean a WW smoothie mix, mixed with hot water. I only have ½ the pouch with 8oz of water and it’s only 1 PP!) I’m pretty conscious of what I eat everyday anyways but I don’t want to feel like I have to deprive myself every Monday.

Thaty works late today but is still going to try to make it to the meeting. I like when she goes with me. I like celebrating together and sharing stories from the week. I just really enjoy her company. She keeps me going way more than she even knows. I would not be able to do this alone.

Of course I do have Kyle! And he is really the biggest help of all! He has been trying to eat better with me which is such a great help! He has been running with me when he’s not working and shows me praise when I get out and run without him. He is truly the best partner!

I have noticed that I do eat more fruit on the PointsPlus program. Who would have thought… the plan works! lol I have increased my fruits and veggies by 2-3 servings a day which puts me over the minimum requirement.

It's about time...

I have created this Word document at work called 'My Unpublished Blog'. It's obviously not a real blog, but it helps when I'm stressed to just type out what I'm feeling. I recently looked back at it and I loved reading it. I was so crazy motivated when I first started. I do have to say that I am still pretty motivated but it was great reading exactly how I felt when I started Weight Watchers. Now that I'm actually blogging I will have to post my old 'unpublished blogs' as one big one.

I started WW on 9.20.10 and tomorrow will begin Week 13. I have lost a total of 30.6 pounds so far. The journey has been amazing! I eat better, make wise food choices, and now I even exercise.

I think the hardest thing on this journey has to be realizing how I got this overweight. I had never, ever thought of myself as being emotionally attached to food. I had never really stopped myself from enjoying the foods that I loved (loved being the key word here) so I had never realized what would happen when I did. It was rough. At first, because I was so motivated by the program, it was easy for me. I couldn't wait to see the results so I worked really hard. So hard that I went on an 8 day vacation and not only went to a WW location to WI on vacation, I also lost 3.4 pounds after I got back. I was serious hard core. I still am, but I think that my mind is realizing that this is it. This is a lifestyle change for me. The last time that I lost this much weight, I was doing the Atkins program. And obviously, like all diets, it didn't last. I think deep down inside I realized that there was no way I could live the rest of my life eating that way. That's why I think it's been a little more difficult with WW this time is cause this is it. This is how it will be for the rest of my life. I will forever be counting points. But that also means I will forever eat healthy, live healthy, and hopefully live longer because of it. It's a very difficult decision to make. Deciding to change something for the rest of your life is huge. To me, it's like the decision to marry someone. This is forever.

I watched a movie recently called Food Matters. It was a documentary about food and how eating better can cure many diseases like cancer and diabetes. It was interesting to watch. A few people were a little too extreme and too west coast for me. They were all about eating raw organic foods and that's not realistic for my lifestyle. But there was one guy I really enjoyed. He was saying that 'when you eat better and take vitamins, you feel better, you are healthier, you are happier, you live longer, and it's easy so why not?' It's so true. Why do we not take care of ourselves. There are a lot of obvious answers like, life gets in the way, but really, what kind of life are you living if you don't take care of yourself. It was a good movie and I'd probably like to watch it again sometime.

The new WW program launched the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I had changed the way I was eating to be much healthier about 2-3 weeks before that so I didn't really change too much. I've seen some big results with the exception of one week so it's been working. With everyone else changing and seeing big results on the scale, I felt I needed to change something too. So last week I started exercising. I started the Couch to 5K running program. I found a great podcast to download to my iPod that plays my style of music (and not techno!). Kyle and I started together but unfortunately he's been working nights a lot lately and hasn't been able to run with me. I can't believe it but, I still run without him. I've stayed pretty motivated which I wasn't sure if I could without him being there. I've even been running after a busy day, 8:30 pm, in 39 degree weather! C'mon now, if that's not determination I don't know what is! My WW leader, Kerri, says that when she runs she talks to herself. I noticed on my third day of running, I was talking to myself. I couldn't believe it. I don't really have like a conversation but I will say things that motivate me to keep running. I don't know how loud I am cause my music's pretty loud. I'm sure people think I'm crazy. Today what kept me running was I pictured a scale at the end of the road, and the scale had my goal weight on it. I could see it and I was running like crazy towards it. Now I really think I'm crazy but you know what, it motivated me and it got me through the run.

I finished week 2 of the Couch to 5K program today. Week 1 was running 60 seconds then walking 90 seconds. Week 2 was running 90 seconds then walking 2 minutes. I really pushed myself W2D 2 and W2D3. I felt like I was really running more than just jogging. My feet left the ground and didn't just shuffle along. I'm so proud of myself that I keep doing it every other day. Even more proud that I've been doing it and I'm on my period. I've never ever exercised during that time of the month. According to the C25K program, I'll be able to run (the whole time) a 5K by the end of January. Now I just need a 5K to sign up for. Disney has a princess 5K in March. Maybe that will be a good one. I wonder how much I'll weigh by March...

Tomorrow's weigh in day. In the beginning, I was always so excited cause I just knew that I had lost. Lately, I haven't been too sure. I know that I haven't given in to temptation, I weighed and measured all of my food, and tracked everything that I've eaten. I don't think I can do much better yet I still get nervous. I have a scale at home that tends to be 2 pounds more than what the scale says at WW but I still never know. We'll see how good I've been tomorrow at my meeting. I'll keep you posted.

Points Plus

So I am in my second week of PointsPlus, the new WW program and I’m liking it. I feel that I made a big change the weeks leading up to the new program, so it didn’t shock me too much. The new plan is all about eating healthier and making better choices with food. I’m glad that I listened to Kerri so much cause she was dropping hints about eating healthier.

I’m starting to feel the weight loss on my body. I don’t know if I’ve really gone down a size yet. I have one shirt that’s XXL and it just now fits, but still gaps a little at my boobs. And I have a jacket from Old Navy that’s an XL and fits nicely. It’s cool cause it’s a size smaller for me but, I have another jacket from Old Navy, that’s also an XL, and it won’t fit right until I lose another 10 lbs. I’m not unmotivated by it at all. I just can’t wait until I’m one size so I know what to bring to the dressing room.

Speaking of clothes, I’ve watched make over shows on TV about people who have lost tons of weight and still wear baggy clothes. I always thought they were nuts cause they should show off their new body. Well the other day I was wearing something that was big on me and I liked it. Not because it covered me, but because I was excited that clothes were big on me. In the past, either clothes just barely fit or I didn’t buy it cause there wasn’t a bigger size. As long as I can remember, clothes were never too big cause I have always been the biggest size in the store. So it made me wonder if I will be that weight loss story woman that likes to wear baggy clothes. I hope not. I am working too hard to not show off!

I haven’t had any “break downs” lately. I’m hoping it was just a phase I had to get through. I did have one week that I actually gained. I gained 1.2 lbs in week 11. I took it well. I was expecting it. And actually it had nothing to do with eating too much or poor choices; it’s cause I ate too little. I was pretty sick, with a cold, and there was one day that I ate maybe 4 Points. I just had no appetite. It’s interesting that in the past, I used to pray to get sick enough to not have an appetite so I wouldn’t eat and hope to lose a few pounds. Now, I get nervous and try to force myself to eat cause I want my body to continue to work properly and receive the right nutrition, especially when I’m sick.

I started the Couch to 5K program last week. It’s been interesting. I’ve been pretty dedicated about it. Twice now I have run on my own cause Kyle was working, in 39 degrees, and at night after a busy day. Last night was the first night I missed that I was planning on running but Kyle and I had a date and I worked the runs in to the rest of the week so I’m still right on track. Kyle and I are signed up for a 5k tomorrow to run through Sea World. Because I haven’t completed my training yet, I’m going to take it easy and mostly walk. It’s a fun race and they’re not timing anyone. So we’ll take our time, stop at the photo ops, and just enjoy ourselves. It’s been awhile since I’ve been to Sea World and it will be nice to see all the Christmas decorations.

I told Kerri that I started the Couch to 5K program. She asked if I was training for a particular 5K, I said no. She said that I should tell her when I’m getting close to completing the program. That would be great if she could help me find a good 5K and maybe we’ll even get to do it together. If she can keep up with me… :)

So I am doing really well and loving WW still. Right now I’ve lost 30.4 lbs. This is big stuff! I can’t wait to lose more. I would LOVE to be below 200 by Jan 3, that was my goal, but I’m not sure now. I’ll need to lose a little more than 3 pounds a week. That’s a lot. But maybe by 01.10 I’ll be there. My first goal was just to hit 10% by the New Year, I did that quickly! So we’ll see how close I get to my holiday weight loss goal.