I'm baaaaackk!!

Well I had to go on a hiatus from Weight Watchers for a bit because I was pregnant but I'm happy to announce that Brandon Kyle is here!!  Just before I got pregnant I gained quite a bit of weight because of stress.  Once I got pregnant, I gained 19 pounds.  I'm not at the weight that I was when I originally started WW but I'm close enough.  I always said that I would go back to WW as soon as I had the baby and I'm so glad that I stuck to it and was motivated to come back.

During my pregnancy, I let myself eat what I wanted.  I can't believe I only gained 19 pounds and I was mostly belly.  My pregnancy was very kind to me.  Even though I made poor food choices when I was pregnant, I didn't eat much.  I never felt like I needed to "eat for two"and I wasn't very hungry.  Well now that I'm breastfeeding, the hunger is here!!  I am so hungry all the time!  When I wake up to feed the baby at night, my tummy rumbles and I have to have a snack.  I am burning 500 calories a day just breastfeeding so that makes sense why I'm so hungry.  The key to being on WW and breastfeeding will be making the right choices with all of this hunger.

I went to a new meeting today.  Unfortunately, Kerri my leader is no longer leading meetings so I had to find a new meeting.  Kerri recommended Kathy on Thursday nights so I gave it a try.  I brought Brandon to the meeting and he was quite a hit.  Kathy was so sweet and loved him right away.  The meeting was busy enough and they were very interactive.  Kathy seems like she'll be a great leader.  I'm so happy that I found a great replacement meeting.  I'm glad I don't have to try out a bunch of meetings.  I will definitely return next week.

It will be difficult to get back in to the swing of things because the last nine months, I've allowed myself to eat what I want without a thought.  I'm allowing myself to take it easy the first week and try to get used to being on the program again.  I won't be super harsh on myself.  Also, I don't want to lose weight too quickly because it can effect my milk supply.  So this week I will focus on getting the house more WW friendly and get back in to tracking.

Well it has been 8 months since I blogged last and a lot has changed in my life.  Last time I blogged I gained a little weight and I was motivated to lose again.  Kyle and I had just gotten married and the wedding stress was over.  Little did I know what would happen in the next few months.  I have been having pain in my upper back for months.  It would come on as attacks but I just thought I was lactose intolerant.  Well in May the attack lasted 4 days and I became jaundice.  My doctor wouldn't even see me and told me to go directly to the ER.  I had no clue I would be in the hospital for FIVE DAYS!!  I had gallstones and a very sick gallbladder.  I had an endoscopic procedure and then surgery to remove my gallbladder.  It was awful.   I hated every moment.  It was everything I hated.  But, it's over and thankfully the pain won't come back!

Just two months later I'm back in the hospital because of other personal reasons.  It was a very stressful time.  I was having to go to the doctor every week to have blood work and eventually go back to the hospital again.  On top of all this, the doctors at the hospital diagnosed me with hypothyroidism.  It's just been a lot to deal with.

Oh and did I mention that among all of this, Kyle and I also bought our first home together.  This is definitely a great thing but it just added to the stress. Now we are settled in our house and I have gained quite a bit of weight.  I never thought I'd see 200 again and I've exceeded it.  I feel like my last few blogs have been about how I'm done gaining weight and wanting to get back into game.  I have gained weight after each blog.  Which is why I've been waiting to write this one.  Well I think it's safe to say I'm back!

I had to cancel Weight Watchers back in July because of my condition but I had been thinking about rejoining again.  I just couldn't find a good meeting.  Truly, I started gaining once the original Monday meetings started.  I needed Kerri back.  I had thought about emailing Kerri to see if she still had her Tuesday afternoon meetings at Team Disney cause that would be the best timing for me.  Just 4 days later I'm on Facebook and Kerri posted that she's now having a Tuesday meeting at 12:15 at the Hunter's Creek center.  It was a sign.  So meant to be.  I instantly went online and rejoined.  I went to Kerri's meeting that Tuesday and it was me and one other girl.  It was the first meeting at this time.  It was so great to be back.  I went home and cleaned out all of the bad stuff from my kitchen.  I was so motivated but I wasn't sure if it would last.

Well it's been 2.5 weeks and I'm already down 6.8 pounds!!!  I feel like I did when I first lost.  It's not difficult and I feel like I just got back on track.  In the beginning it took some getting used to measuring and counting points but now it's so easy again.  I've even gotten back in to a regular running routine.  Runner's World is doing a "running streak" to challenge runners to run at least one mile everyday from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day.

So I'm happy to be back!!  :)

Back in the Saddle Again

I'm done gaining weight back so I finally made it back to a WW meeting for the first time since February. I still miss my original Monday night meeting but I need to find another meeting that can be my constant. So I went to check out a meeting earlier this week. To protect the innocent I will not say any times but let me tell you... this was NOT my meeting! Wow! Let me start from the beginning. Walking in to the WW center felt weird because it had been so long. Obviously I was nervous to face the scale because I know what it's going to say and I'm not happy with it. I used to walk in and have it feel like a second home cause I would know so many people inside but this time I didn't know anyone. I walked up to the receptionist and I warned her that it's been awhile for me but I'm back. And I also warned her I know the scale's up so don't be alarmed. I was right. My lowest weight was in Oct. and it was 167. When I stepped on the scale this week it was 190. Yikes! I knew it would be that high but it's still tough to see. One of the biggest driving forces for me to go back to WW was, I never want to go back to the 200's again. So I went in just in time. After weighing in and being welcomed back, a woman walks around the corner. I say hello to her because I remember her as a member from my old meetings. I remember her talking alot and she kinda annoyed me. Well, guess who the meeting leader is... I decided to stay cause I certainly needed the meeting and maybe she'd be a great leader! I walked in to the meeting room and I rounded out the group to 5 people. I'm used to it being SRO in Kerri's meeting so this was a shock to me. 3 more people came in at the last minute but it was still weird having such a small group. The leader begins the meeting and is telling us a story about her sister complaining that she gained weight on vacation. She had us write down the advice we would give if our sister came to us with the same complaint. Her directions were really vague at first so everyone was confused. Then we just kinda moved on, it was weird. Later she was talking about how there are 'ups and downs' and she told us "like for example, today this woman came in to weigh in and she was so sunburnt! Burnt to a crisp. She had to step on the scale like this," and she mimed cautiously stepping on a scale. Then said "so there's always going to be ups and downs. It's important to eat lots of colors in your meals..." I was so confused! What does the sunburnt lady have to do with 'ups and downs'?! Then she started talking about how she was reading a blog and she just doesn't get it why people would want to blog. Big lesson for her to learn... you never know who you're talking to! Watch what you say. (The 2 ladies sitting behind me need to learn the same lesson. Before the meeting they were talking about vegetarians and they said "you need to be careful of that soy stuff." then they continued to share food ideas like low point bars and cookies. People crack me up.) Anyways so my leader is talking about reading this blog on the WW site and she said the blogger kept talking about this thing called P Interest. She asked if we've ever heard of it. Saying it out loud, I didn't know what she was talking about. Then someone in the back said "Pinterest". Then the other 5 old women tried to explain what Pinterest is to the leader. Everyone was confused and I just sat there quietly cause it was so annoying. Now let me say, it is not a requirement for my WW leader to know what Pinterest is or to love bloggers but, I can't connect with people that are so behind. So that is not my meeting. I will keep searching though. Hopefully I will find another great meeting that will keep me committed to reaching my goal.

It Must Be My Scale That's Broken

Well I'm pretty frustrated. I have been eating so well! I've been craving terrible things and I've been avoiding them and finding better alternatives. After 2 weeks of eating really well... the scale's not budging. :( I haven't been working out that much, I know I can up that, but I didn't work out at all my first 4 months on WW and I lost a lot. I should say though, it's not just the scale, I'm not seeing it or feeling it on my body either.

I haven't lost hope though. I'm still so determined! I want to, no, HAVE TO lose this weight. I want to be healthy. Well, speaking of healthy, I feel much better the last 2 weeks. So I know that something inside of me is changing. Maybe it's because I've stopped eating animal products. I haven't eaten any meat or cheese since 3.15.2012. I've had very little dairy because it's very difficult to avoid completely.

I'm watching a documentary on obesity. Hopefully this will keep me inspired. It's called Killer at Large: Why Obesity... It's pretty good so far.

Playing Catch Up

I cannot believe how long it's been since I've blogged! Since my last post I have run 2 more half marathons, I ran my first full marathon, oh and I got married!!! :) There have been so many life changes that have happened in the last 5 months! It's been a very exciting time for me. The only unfortunate thing that's happened is I have lost control of my good eating habits and willingness to work out. I've gained about 23 pounds. :( One weird thing that happened though, all of a sudden my willpower came back during my honeymoon. Kyle said it's because I don't have a million things to think about anymore. Now I can just focus on my weight loss again.

So since returning from my honeymoon I went food shopping for tons of healthy foods. It's nice to eat healthy and have control of my eating again. I've had a killer headache for about 24 hours now though so I think my body's detoxing. I've been tracking my food again. Honestly, I haven't tracked in about 2-3 months. I've been terrible. So I'm back to tracking and being strong with candy and other temptations at work. It truly feels like old Eileen is back and I'm happy she is. :)

So while I was on the cruise most of the dinners I ordered were the vegetarian option. Not because I didn't want meat but because it's usually the healthiest option. Also, I've never loved meat. I'll eat it, like I enjoy lean chicken and ground beef, but that's about it. I don't like lunch meat, meat on a bone, ham, sausage, turkey, and if I think the meat is undercooked in any way, I won't eat it. So I'm not a huge carnivore. While we were in Disneyland I noticed myself ordering vegetarian options again. It made me start thinking. What if I did go vegetarian. It would help me when I'm eating out because for some reason people are more accepting when you say "I'm a vegetarian" than when you say "I'm a healthy eater".

I've been giving this some serious thought and haven't eaten any kind of meat since Thursday. Last night I was reading a blog this girl writes of healthy dessert recipes. The girl who writes the blog is vegan and most of her recipes are vegan too. Now when I hear the word vegan, I can't help but also think of the word "weirdo". No offense to anyone reading this. I'm just uneducated about this topic. Well I was reading quite a bit about it and it has me intrigued. Being vegan is pretty much being vegetarian except you also don't eat dairy (and eggs but I'll get to that in a bit). Since I'm lactose intolerant I should be watching my dairy intake as well. I get cocky sometimes and think I can eat dairy and then I'm reminded when I lying on my bed in imense pain. So dare I connsider being a vegan?? Does this mean I have to stop shaving my arm pits?? ;)

So being vegan means no eggs. That is difficult. So many things contain eggs that you don't realize. I know there are options around it but I'm not sure. For now, I'll stick with the no meat thing and work on the no dairy. It's a fun challenge and helps me be aware of what I'm eating. So I guess I'm a vegetarian now. It's kinda fun. :) I like looking for new recipes and reading about how/when people made the change to being a vegetarian/vegan. I've been cooking with polenta, soy crumbles, and lots of beans.

I'm excited to announce that race season is in full swing and the great news is my husband has signed up to run one with me. I'm signed up for the Disneyland Half Marathon, the Tower of Terror 10-miler (that's the one Kyle's running with me), the Gingerbread Run 5K, and the Wine and Dine Half Marathon. I'm thinking of training for the Goofy next year. It sounds good right now but we'll see.

thoughts on my blog

Okay so since I have started letting people know about my blog the response has been overwhelming. My blog started out as a word document that I would vent to when I was at work. I later decided to post it online but didn't tell anyone about it except for Kyle. I figured some people may find it while browsing the internet but I wasn't sure I wanted anyone I know to know about it. I remember the day I told Teresa about my blog. I felt unsure at first as my blog is very personal. I don't hold back. From there I started to tell a few here and there. Then on my one year anniversary of WW, I posted it to Facebook and since then it's been crazy! People message me, email me, and text me still to this day. The reaction Ive been getting is wonderful. I'm so happy to share my story with everyone.

I went to an extra WW meeting on Friday to get my Kerri fix since she wasn't at the Monday meeting this week. :) Kerri mentioned to the meeting that I have a blog. A few minutes later, a lady passed me a note, like in school, that said "Can I read your blog?" I was so touched. (Hi! if you're reading this!) I had tons of other women come up to me after the meeting to get the blog address too. It's still very surreal to me to think I'm an inspiration to people. I'm just simple me. But if I can help inspire people than that's what will keep me going. I whole heartedly believe in the brand of Weight Watchers and good health in general. I want to live as long as I can. I have a wonderful fiancé and I don't ever want to leave him. I want people to understand that life is worth living and you're not living if you're unhappy with yourself or are unhealthy. We are given one body, we have to take care of it. At the end of the day, it's truly all we've got.

I've been thinking a lot about how I can branch out and inspire more people. Someone suggested television. I know that Dr. Oz is now associated with WW so today I emailed his team. I sent him a current photo of me and this message...

"On Sept. 20, 2010 I walked in to a Weight Watchers center weighing 243 lbs. I have done WW before and although I was motivated again I wasn't sure if it would last. I have been overweight and unhealthy my entire life. I'm a happy outgoing person but in the back of my mind I was constantly reminded that I am different than my friends. Well I met my WW leader Kerri and she has truly inspired me! With the help of Kerri, my new WW friends, and my fiancé I have lost 74.6 pounds! I am a new girl! I am not yet at goal but I will be there soon!! I'm hoping to start 2012 at my goal weight which is perfect timing since I will be getting married on 3/3/12. Since I have lost the weight my entire life has changed. I eat better, I have so much more energy, and I'm an athlete now. Before the weight loss, I had never run a mile in my life. That includes gym class at school. I always found an excuse to not run. Last week I finished my first half marathon and am training for the Walt Disney World Marathon in Jan 2012. Throughout my transformation I have inspired others. I am so humbled by this. I am in no way perfect so I don't feel I'm the ideal role model but then that's maybe what makes me a good role model. I mess up, I have bad days and weeks, but that's what makes me real. I have been blogging since day 2 of my weight loss journey and would love for you to check it out. Here's the link... achievingresultsnottypical.blogspot.com. I would love the chance to come on to your show to hopefully inspire more people. Losing weight is one of the toughest things to do in life. I know that first hand. Everyone would be skinny if it wasn't. But the good certainly outweighs the bad and I want to show people it can be done! I am a new me!! :)"

We'll see if anything comes of it. What I thought would be neat if my final weigh in was on his show. I picture me stepping on the scale, the numbers going crazy like they do on tv, the audience biting their nails in anticipation, and then finally the scale stops and it displays my goal weight. Everyone will go crazy! Everyone I love will be there, my family, friends, Kyle, Kerri, Teresa. Confetti and balloons fall from the sky! It would be magical! :) I sent a link to my blog so if you're from the Dr. Oz show... *hint* *hint* this would make a great show! ;)

I'm Engaged!!!!!!

This has been one incredible week!! I feel bad for the rest of the 51 weeks this year cause this one takes the cake! Well, I thought I would be so excited about finishing my first half marathon and then Kyle went and surprised me with asking me to marry him!!! Here's how it happened...

Kyle told me a few weeks ago that he would like us to take a tour of the Seas with Nemo and Friends. He said that Animal Programs is testing out a new tour and needed "guests" to try it out. I had to switch my days off for the tour as it was being offered on Thursday. I was getting a little suspicious as Kyle never makes plans. So I thought he might propose that day but I wasn't exactly sure how. Well the night before, we went to Merritt Island to have dinner with my parents. My mom asked if I worked the next day and I thought it was odd. I thought she would for sure know I was off cause she would know what was going on. I was thinking she wouldn't even bring up the day so she didn't have to pretend to not know. Well she did a really great job at pretending to not even know about the "tour" we were going on. She had me completely fooled and I thought it wouldn't happen on Thursday.

Thursday morning I talked to Thaty and she asked me what I was doing too. When I told her about the tour she said very non-shelant "Oh yeah, I heard about that." Well that sealed the deal for me. There really is a tour and I'm not getting engaged today. I wasn't upset but at least I wouldn't have expectations and be disappointed. Well the time came to go to Epcot. We left the house around 4:30 and parked at the Beach Club. I tried to look for signs of nervousness or excitement in Kyle but he seemed cool as a cucumber.

We walked in to Epcot and he said "Oh I bet Pam's here today, it's Thursday." So we headed in to the Pub. I walked in and saw Pam. She was playing the piano and said "It's been too long Eileen, where have you been?!" Then I noticed that everyone was staring at me. I started to look around the pub and first saw my friends John and Justin. I waved hello. Then I noticed Brenda, Len, Ashby and Michelle. I thought it was so weird I knew so many people. I looked to my left and saw Anna, Lila, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Thaty, Gio, Lucas, and Rebekah. And then... I saw SARA!!!! Kyle flew my best friend in from Seattle!! I flipped out!! I started crying and hugging her like crazy! I couldn't believe she was here!

I then remember someone pulling me back and pulled up a chair in front of Pam's piano. I couldn't believe this was happening! Kyle got down on his knee and opened the box. There was the most beautiful engagement ring I've ever seen! I obviously said yes and the kissed Kyle a bajillion times. As I look up, I start seeing even more people. Kyle invited Kerri (my WW leader), Teresa, and Jimmy! I can't believe how many people came out to see this!! I couldn't be happier that they were all there!! (Nicole and Donna were supposed to be there but they had to work. I was thinking of them though!) It was truly so magical!

I asked Kyle if we were going to be late for the tour, everyone laughed. There is no tour of the seas. So we all stayed to celebrate at the pub. The manager was so sweet and offered a round of drinks for everyone. I so rarely drink now but I indulged and had my signature drink, a cosmopolitan. Kyle then told me that we had reservations at my favorite restaurant, Tokyo Dining and most everyone's coming! We ended up having a party of 15! It was beyond perfect! We had a great time at dinner. Best part of all, Sara got to come home with us and was going to stay through Sunday. I loved how surprised I was and just how wonderful the entire engagement was. If I could have planned it myself it would have been just what happened.

Well my blog is supposed to be about my weight loss journey so I'll tell you about this week. It was an odd week because I ate so many carbs over the weekend because I was preparing for a race. My tummy hurt a bit after the race and it hasn't felt the same since. It's weird. I eat less than I usually do. I have been eating pretty well just smaller portions that usual. I also decided to take a week off from activity to let my body rest from the half marathon. It was weird going a whole week. By Monday I was so ready to work out with Donna. I actually hadn't seen Donna in 2 weeks because I didn't see her after the marathon because of my knees. I was so sleepy yesterday but I knew I had to work hard with her so I could get back in to my routine. I felt tired and a little weak but I tried to push myself as hard as I could. Sometimes I won't want to finish a set because I feel like I physically can't but I love that she never lets me quit. I can take a second to catch my breath or rest my muscles but she always makes me finish each set. I love that. Anyways, Donna has told me to stay off of the scale and I have for 3 weeks! That's a long time for me because I love weighing in everyday. But she said to only weigh in with her and WW. I've been very good at staying off of it so I didn't know what to expect. I stood on the scale at the gym and couldn't believe my eyes... It said 169.something!! I was finally in a new decade!! I couldn't wait to get to weight watchers to see what that scale would say!

I raced to my WW meeting and hopped on the scale. It said 168.4!! That's a -6.6 loss for the week and a total of 74.6! Ahhh!! I will for sure hit -75 lbs next week! I will get a new charm for my WW keychain. I can't believe how well I did this week. Typically when I do well, I tend to slack the next week cause I feel too cocky. I will not let that happen this week. I will be strict but still make it livable. I am so motivated. Especially because now I have a wedding coming up soon! I have to look good!

So this week I finished my first half marathon, got engaged, had my best friend in town, and lost 6.6 lbs. See what I'm saying, it's truly the best week ever!!!

On a side note, I've been meaning to share this gem. I found an ice cream that seems too good to be true! It's called Arctic Zero. The flavors I've seen are mint chocolate chip, chocolate peanut butter, strawberry, coffee, and my two favorites are vanilla maple and cookies and cream. They come in a pint size and I've only seen them at Whole Foods for $4.49. These beauties are only 3 Points Plus for the WHOLE PINT!!! Here's all the info...

Pumpkin Spice??!! I need to find that flavor!!!! :)))

A recap of my first half marathon

My first half marathon is over and I did it! I wouldn't say that I ever doubted myself but, there was a fear that I would get picked up by the "too slow" van or get injured. It was a very interesting run and a true test of my physical ability.

I started running at 10:15 and I felt great! I was so excited! I ran with a friend so it was so nice to have company. Devin and I had an equal pace so it worked out for both of us. The race started at Disney's Wide World of Sports. As we rounded the corner on to Osceola Pkwy, I got a cramp on my left side. We hadn't even run 5 mins and I'm already getting a cramp?! I don't get cramps anymore. I used to when I first started running but not anymore. I knew what it was. I was dehydrated. I stopped drinking water hours ago so I wouldn't have to pee during the race. Well, that was a mistake. I had water and a little Powerade at the first water stop but I had cramps on both sides. I was so nervous they would continue the rest of the race. Fortunately they only lasted the first 2 miles and then went away.

The first 3 miles flew by. It felt like only one mile. They had SpectoMagic floats along the road as well as live bands and people on stilts. There were random people that had parked their cars and ran to the road to cheer people on. I love having people there cheering. It really helps. When Devin and I were at about mile 2, we saw a few runners coming back down Osceola Pkwy which was about mile 7-8. It was crazy!

It was great running through Animal Kingdom. I like having so much to look at and the uniqueness of running in Animal Kingdom, especially at night. (The park typically closes when the sun's still up.) We stopped at the restroom in DAK and I fueled myself with Sport Beans as we had run about 50 mins at this point. We hit mile 5 as we left Animal Kingdom.

So the run from Animal Kingdom to Hollywood Studios was long, and painful. I've never had knee pain before but my knees were killing me. I couldn't wait to make it to the next medic station as they had huge pumps of Biofreeze. Devin and I kept going, walking a little more than we had but we were doing well. There was a medic station at about mile 7 and I globbed the Biofreeze all over my knees. It helped just a little bit. We kept going. It was great running with Devin because we were always encouraging each other to keep running.

The ramp to the Studios was difficult. It was at about 8.5 miles at that point and the ramp was uphill and slanted, very awkward. They had a fuel station. I thought they were going to have Cliff Blocks but instead they were giving out GU. I've tried GU before but I didn't like it. Kerri said she likes the vanilla one so I tried it. Well, I will never try it again. I had about half of it and I felt sick. My knees were hurting really badly at that point so I pulled off to the side to squat so I could stretch out the muscle. I could barely stand up afterwards. I was so disappointed that I was having so much difficulty with the race. But I knew we were almost to the Studios and I would hopefully see people I knew. That would help for sure.

We made it to the Studios and it was like 9. It's funny that I was surprised seeing miles 1-3 cause it went by so quickly but now I was seeking out each mile marker. I increased my speed a lot at the Studios. It was nice knowing where I was and seeing friendly faces. I saw 2 of my CPs by the Monument restroom and Soundstage 3 restroom. I didn't realize what time it was at that point until I saw the FastPass return time at Toy Story said 12:23am. So weird to be running so late. I then saw Joey on Pixar Place and he ran with us a bit until we went through the costuming tunnel. It was so great seeing people I knew and hearing people cheer for me. We walked a bit in the tunnel. Then there was a water stop with more of my Cast. I had to say it was a little weird running past Ops 3 and seeing my desk. I don't think that happens for most people running half marathons. I was thrilled to see mile 10. It meant we only had a 5K left. The Christmas lights were on on New York Street and they had Christmas music playing. It was nice to see. There was another medic station where I lathered up with Biofreeze again and had Tylenol. After that was a water station where I saw more of my Cast and peers. I needed them to help me get through the last 2 miles.

By mile 11 I was done. I didn't want to run anymore. I knew the path of the rest of the race so that helped but my knees were screaming. I kept going though. I ran the whole way. We went through the Boardwalk/Epcot resort area. Once we got backstage at Epcot it was just kind of a blur. I ran the whole way and I didn't stop. At mile 13 I finally realized I was actually going to make it. It was a tough battle but I'm going to finish this race. I started getting emotional but it made my start to hyperventilate so I had to pull myself together to finish the race. And there it was, I'm getting chocked up again as I type this, the finish line. I ran through it with my hands in the air. All I could think was "I did it!!! I did it!!!!" I was a little dizzy afterwards too. I couldn't wait to hug Kyle. I was so far away though. Once I got my medal I had to take a picture. I had to see it for myself. I did it. I ran a half marathon. A year ago I weighed 70 pounds more and had never run a mile in my life. And I had just conquered 13.1 miles. My time was 2:57 which was a lot higher than I expected but I am in no way disappointed. In fact I'm thrilled!

It was a long walk to Epcot and it was almost 1:30am at that point. They were handing out free beer. I don't care for beer too much but I took one for the novelty of it. I drank about 3 sips and then I was done. The long walk to Kyle continued, my knees still killing me, but I think it was good to keep walking. I chance to stretch out and cool down. We made it in to Epcot and I met Kyle at our meeting spot in front of Club Cool. I wanted to run to him but my legs wouldn't allow it. I was so happy to see him! He was so proud of me! It was great!

I changed my clothes so we could walk around epcot. I bought a shirt that said "I did it" and wore it proudly. We made it to Canada for some Cheddar Cheese Soup. I had to sit because of the pain in my knees. I was feeling very sick as well. I just wanted to go home. So we did. I cried again in the car. It's so emotional accomplishing something like this. Honestly, the best part was the outpouring of love and support by my friends and family. It was incredible how many people called, texted, and wrote on my Facebook. Sadly, my Nike+iPod app didn't post to Facebook so I couldn't hear applause but I actually checked my FB a couple times while running so I could see peoples posts. To those of you that did, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you know how much each of you mean to me. Thank you.

Here are some photos from the race...

I dedicated a mile to everyone that has supported me throughout my journey. I wrote them on my hand so I could remember. It was a great idea because I pictured each of them during their mile running beside me cheering me on.

All of my gear for the race.

Minnie was there to cheer me on too. (BTW- look how skinny Kyle's getting!)

Devin and I right after the starting line. Kyle got to see us start! :)

All done. I did it!!!!

Tomorrow I will run in my first half marathon!

I can't believe it, after months of preparation, days of running even though I didn't want to, my first half marathon is tomorrow! Let me start by saying I am not running half of anything, I will be running the entire half marathon. I don't like that they call it a half because it makes it seem like I can't do the whole thing. Anyways, for those of you who don't know I will be running in the Wine and Dine Half Marathon at Walt Disney World. It's a unique race because it begins at 10pm! The course will take us from Wide World of Sports, Disney's Animal Kingdom, Disney's Hollywood Studios (can't wait to see my Cast cheering me on!), the Boardwalk, and then to the finish line at Epcot. After the race, the park will be open until 3am for runners and spectators to enjoy the attractions and Food and Wine Festival. In celebration of the Food and Wine Festival, each runner will be served a beer or glass of wine at the finish line. I have decided to allow myself the beer at the finish line! :)

This time last year, I had never even run a mile. Tomorrow I will run 13.1 miles. This time last year, the only famous runner I knew was Flo Jo but I really only remember her for her fancy nails. Today I was so excited to meet Olympian Jeff Galloway and was even more excited he signed my race shirt. This time last year, the only thing I knew was carbs are the devil. Today and tomorrow I will be focusing on having my meals consist of 85-95% carbs. I am a new girl.

A good friend of mine, Tia, is a marathoner and gave me a running schedule that I have followed. Last weekend I ran 11.25 miles and felt great! It was an awesome practice run! I have learned how my body will feel during and after, how to fuel my body, and stay hydrated. I felt so prepared after that run.

Because I don't belong to a running club I've had to rely on the resources I have to learn how to be a runner. Tia was obviously a great help in giving me a training schedule. Fortunately my WW leader is a runner so Kerri helped me a lot with learning about how to fuel my runs. I didn't even know people ate on the race course. I thought it would be frowned upon but now I totally get how important it is. Kerri gave me a lot of suggestions on what to use. For this run I will be using Sport Beans. For future runs, I'm going to try vanilla bean GU and Power Bar Energy Bites.

I've always heard that you need to eat carbs before you race but that was about the extent of what I knew. Oddly enough, this months Runner's World came in the mail today and there's a whole article about carb loading! (Perfect timing Runner's World!) In the article, it talks about how most runners know they need the carbs but don't know when to start and how much. It explained that when you eat simple carbs like rice and potatoes, the carbs are stored in your body as glycogen. When you run long distances your body burns glycogen and fat for fuel. But, it takes your body longer to get fuel from fat which causes your body to slow down. When you're running and you feel your body "hit a wall", that's what's going on. So to avoid your body from slowing down it's important to store as much glycogen as possible. You can't do this with one meal so you need to begin carb loading 2-3 days prior to the race. Your body will accumulate the glycogen in your muscles and liver. It will hold on to it until you burn it off. 85-95% of your calories should come from carbs. It sounds so scary to someone who's trying to lose weight! It also said that if you get on the scale and you see you're up about 4 pounds, you're carbo-loading correctly. Every gram of stored carbs makes you store an extra 3 grams of water so the weight should be gone after the race. It also means that your body should be good and hydrated. It was such a great article! It was nice to really understand the science of it. To start my carbo-loading tonight I made a chickpea curry. It's so delicious and the easiest recipe ever! I've put the recipe up before. You can find it by clicking here. Here's a picture of the final product tonight. I served it over brown rice. I'll probably have more for lunch tomorrow.

Well I think I'm ready. I completed the training. I've learned how to fuel and hydrate during the run. I picked up my race packet and tested out my timing chip. My belly is full of carbs and will be tomorrow as well. The only thing left is to pick out what I'm going to wear! I think I have the right outfit in mind. I have to look great for the photos along the route! It's so important! :)

I'm so excited I'm afraid I won't sleep tonight. I need to though cause I'll be up very late tomorrow. On Sunday I have a day of beauty and relaxation planned. I will get a hydration massage, spray tan, manicure, and pedicure. This just may be the best weekend ever!!

**If you are my friend on Facebook, I would really appreciate the support during the run. I will post when I start running and every time you 'like' or comment on my post, it pauses my music and plays the sound of people cheering. It's so motivating knowing people are cheering me on! I'll probably be running from 10:15 until possibly 1am. (please lord let me be finished my then!) thanks!!**

Happy One Year Anniversary!

One year ago today I walked in to the Hunter's Creek Weight Watchers. That's where I met Kerri who has inspired me everyday. Since then I have met some pretty incredible people that have gotten me this far. After one year, I weigh 71.2 pounds lighter. It's incredible. One year ago today I was so determined to make it all the way but very skeptical that it wouldn't last but it did, and grew stronger. I want to thank everyone in my life that has encouraged me through this journey and has stuck with me.

Today Kyle and I went grocery shopping at Whole Foods and Publix. I still get a kick about how healthy our cart is. It is 100% the opposite of who I was. I am so different today from who I was before. After I go grocery shopping I always wash and portion out all of my fruits and veggies. It really helps me have a successful week. I figured I'd share some photos and recipes from now on.

Here's a recipe that I love! Today I used a different protein powder so I'm excited to see how it turns out. This bar is great after a workout! Here's the recipe.

Apple Protein Bars (3 points plus)

2c Rolled Oats

1/2 c Natural Nut Butter ie. almond or other (I use PB2 if you're interested)

1 Tbsp. Coconut Oil (available at health food stores)

1 Tbsp Ground Flax Seed

4 scoops Protein Powder (I used a strawberry flavored one today, hope it's good)

1/2 c unsweetened natural applesauce

Mix well, use a rectangular or square baking dish lined with parchment paper and pat the mix into the shape. Freeze for at least 30 minutes. (I usually leave it in overnight and need to put it in the microwave to thaw it for a bit in order to cut it.) Cut with a pizza cutter into bars or squares. Can keep in freezer. Serves 12.

These are the ingredients I used minus the PB2. It was the last of my PB2 and I ended up throwing it away before I decided to take pictures for my blog. PB2 is powdered peanut butter and amazing! It's only 1 point plus for 2 Tbsp!

Here's the finished product ready for the freezer. I'm excited to try it with the strawberry flavored protein powder. I'm hoping it'll be like a PB&J flavor with the strawberry and peanut butter. Yum!

Something else I've done for awhile is portioned out my fruits and veggies and put them in my "free box". The "free box" has been my saving grace many times! It's great to have fruits and veggies on hand when you're starving. I use them especially when I'm cooking cause I'm hungry and it saves me from snacking on something dangerous.

This is my "free box" or should I say "free boxes" as I had to have 2 this week.

This week we have celery, baby carrots, pineapple, apple slices, jicama, and grapes. They're all washed and portioned to 1 cup each. They're the best to have on hand when making lunches!

I also pre-cut veggies for cooking. This week I have zucchini and yellow squash. I bought butternut squash too but it was already pre-cut. Those things are so hard to cut!

Prepping some zucchini for the week.

Here are my zucchini and yellow squash ready for me to cook! (I don't know how to rotate the photo. I'm impressed with myself enough that I even knew how to add photos to my blog.)

And last but not least, here's how I portion things in my pantry.

Again, I don't know how to rotate the photo. Anyways, this is Fiber One cereal. It's the original one that's 57% of your daily fiber. I add Fiber One to almost everything! I add it to my smoothies, yogurt and fruit, oatmeal, and my new favorite is having a banana, dipped in PB2, and then dipped in Fiber One. Super yummy!! I portion them in little bags and write the points on them so I know what each serving is. It's such a huge time saver!

Almonds are high in points for such a small portion but they're good for you. I portion them in little bags with a 1/4c portion. Then I put it back in the container so it's easy to see in the pantry. I love to have almonds with a banana.

Well these are just a few of my tips and tricks that have gotten me through this year. I will make sure to add more photos and recipes in the future, now that I (kinda) know how to do it. So here's to another successful year and many more!

Biggest Loss Yet!

So after all of this positivity and great change the unbelievable happened... I lost 8.6 last week!! It's insane! It's my biggest loss yet! Not only was it a huge loss but, it finally got me at my lowest weight since joining Weight Watchers. It's amazing how much cutting out processed foods really affects you. I didn't work out as much as usual but I was so good with my food.

I am prepared that I may gain this week because it was such a huge loss last week, my weight may even out. I am trying really hard to do well and lose again to prove to myself that I truly earned my loss last week. I have continued to eat well and cut out as much processed foods as I can. I did however increase my activity this week. I worked out probably too much. My body was beyond tired and I didn't listen to it and kept working out. I finally forced myself to rest on Friday.

Monday I fell and twisted my ankle. It's the same ankle that has always bothered me. I've been working out on it, running on it, and walking at work on it and today it just gave up. I tried to take Body Step this morning (my whole body was too tired already so I knew I shouldn't go) but I ended up leaving 30 mins into the class cause my ankle hurt so badly I was starting to tear up. I felt bad leaving in the middle of class but I have to learn to listen to my body. I went home and elevated it and iced it. I'm going to do my best to stay off of it until I work out with Donna on Monday before WW. I'm realizing that if I don't rest now, I won't be able to race in 2 weeks.

It's so crazy to me that I have to force myself to stop working out. I never thought that would be me. Never. I love exercise! It makes me feel great mentally and physically! I love knowing that I'm doing something great for myself. I'm even seeing the results, I even saw my triceps for the first time the other day! lol

I'm Feeling Great!

This morning I woke up at 4:30, took BodyPump at 5:30, walked on the treadmill for 30 mins, had a quiet breakfast by myself at First Watch at 7, grocery shopped at Target at 8, and was at work by 9! It was a great morning! I have so much energy and motivation to do things like this because I'm getting back to the healthy me!

I am loving where I am right now. Lately, Friday/Saturday is where I lose steam for the week. It's when I start letting myself have small, untracked cheats here and there. I don't feel like exercising. As I was making lunch today it suddenly hit me that today's Friday. And I'm not losing steam, in fact I'm full steam ahead! I am so motivated still! The same motivation I had Tuesday! I'm so proud of myself. I don't want to lose this motivation!

It's interesting that I blogged so much in the beginning and lately I'm wanting to blog more often. I hope that's a sign that this really is like a week 1 for me again. I want this so badly.

Back on Track

I thought things were going so well until I completely went off program for the first time. Saturday-Monday I just ate what I wanted, didn't track, and I felt gross the whole time. On Tuesday when I weighed in, the scale said it was a 5.4 lb gain. That's crazy. I completely deserved it. I was horrible and in a way I think it was kinda good. It made me remember how horrible it felt eating that way. I was tired and didn't want to do anything. I felt like a bump on a log. Which is so different than my current life. I got to have foods that I have been depriving myself of for a long time. And (hopefully) it's out of my system.

I am thinking of yesterday as day 1, back on WW. Back to being serious about my weight loss. I've been watching Ruby and Heavy on NetFlix and it really made me remember what it's like to be so heavy that you would do anything to be thin. I needed that. So Tuesday I faced the scale, which I didn't want to do and started tracking again. I also got up early and ran. I haven't done that in awhile but I reminded myself how much I want this!! I ate much better, stayed within my points, and got in all of my healthy checks. And on top of my running, I also tried a new class at the gym called CXWORX which is 30 mins focused on your core. It kicked my ass! And just after that class I took Body Combat. O...M...G... I don't think I've worked and pushed myself so hard in a long time! That class is crazy!! But it felt so good! :)

I feel good today except for the fact that my body's so sore I can't move. hehe :)

Figuring things out

I may have figured out my plateau. The meeting last week was timed perfectly because it was about overcoming plateaus. The weekly had yes or no questions and they were very humbling. At first I was thinking how I'm perfect and obviously the scale's wrong, not me. Well, I'm thinking that's not the case. Here were the questions...

1. Are you tracking everything?

*At first I thought, 'Of course! I track everything I eat!' But I had a moment at my parents' house the other night. I was in my parents' kitchen and randomly grabbed a cookie. It was a bland tasting sugar-free cookie. Before I took the first bite I stopped and thought about what I was doing. I didn't need this cookie, in fact I didn't even want this cookie. That's when I realized that it was those BLTs that were getting me. Bites, licks, and tastes have stalled my weight. It's funny that I'll get upset that I accidentally ate the wrong applesauce that cost me 3 points compared to the unsweetened 0 points, but I have no problem putting a cookie, or whatever else, in my mouth and not even tracking it. This was a huge eye opener.

2. Do you eyeball portions?

*This one I can honestly say I weigh and measure close to everything I eat. This one I've stayed pretty strict on. I'll share some photos soon of all of my measuring cups/spoons and my portioned food.

3. Are you filling up on fruit?

*Having fruit be 0 points is very liberating but I have to watch this now. Obviously it's better that I choose fruit over cake or chips but I have realized (thanks to my leader Kerri) that sometimes I eat fruit even when I'm not hungry. Sometimes I just want to eat and I chose fruit cause it feels "safe". So I've become very conscious of when and how much fruit I eat now.

4. Do you attend meetings every week?

*Yep! And lately I've been going twice. It's helping hold me accountable throughout the week.

5. Could you be overestimating activity points values?

*I don't eat my activity points so I'm not so concerned about this one. I typically add them up so I can track how I'm doing throughout the week. It's good to think about this one though incase it does become a problem in the future.

6. Are you combining points plus with the previous plans?

*uh no.. who would do that?!

7. Do you follow the good health guidelines daily?

*As close as I can. I typically have trouble getting my oils in but other than that I'm pretty good. I even track other things in my tracker like calcium chews, whole grains, protein, and even when I poop. :)

So obviously I learned the most from thinking about the first question. Today there was a chocolate cake at work. I was so tempted. I said no at first and told myself that they got it out of a dumpster to make it seem gross. Well, I eventually gave in. I truly had the tiniest piece. It was maybe 3 bites. In fact, it was so small I considered not tracking it. I didn't want to see it in my tracker and I didn't want my new personal trainer to see it either. But I had to be honest. I ate it. Tracking it or not, I had the cake. Not tracking it doesn't make it go away so I tracked it as 7 points. I was good the rest of the night and still stayed within my daily points. And in case you were wondering, the cake was crazy delicious and so super worth it!! :)

After the plateau meeting week, I lost a pound! I'm coming back! I'm still up 2.4 pounds from my lowest weight with WW but I'm headed there. I want this so badly!!! I'm so determined to make it to goal! I'm so sure I will get there.

To help me get to goal I did something I never thought I would do... I hired a personal trainer. It's crazy expensive and I can barely afford it but I feel that I can't afford to not do it. I am trying to get to goal before the year's up. I've been really good about going to classes at the gym, I've been so-so with my running, and now I have Donna to really hold me accountable. Teresa told me about her and I couldn't be happier with her! Today was the first day I worked out with her. It was great! I can't wait to see what else she has in store for me. Donna has already shown me 110% commitment to me so I need to make sure that I match her commitment. I am so excited to have someone giving me individualized attention. It holds me more accountable. She likes to look at my tracker too, that holds me SUPER accountable because I know how well the traveling tracker worked!

Time for bed, cause I have BodyPump at 5:30 am tomorrow...

Catching Up Since June

Interesting... I just looked over my last blog. I didn't blog at all in July. I've been very frustrated as my weight loss has slowed down. So much so that I'm actually up since my last blog. I have been up and down and currently I'm at -69 lbs. I've gotten so frustrated that I didn't even weigh in one week. I knew it would be a gain and I just couldn't bear to see it. I was feeling motivated and I felt that I would get down on myself when I saw a '+' on my weight tracker.

Well after not weighing in last week, I weighed in on Monday and lost 0.6. Of course I would normally be excited about this but I'm frustrated because I did so incredibly well. I did so much activity!! I ran, took Zumba, Body Pump, and earned a lot of APs on my pedometer at work. I also tracked everything I ate. I even felt like I ate more than usual but that's common with so much activity. (I earned 88 APs for the week.) I even went to an extra meeting last week. Kerri wasn't there on the usual Monday meeting so I went to see her on Friday morning. I needed that meeting. According to the scale, I was up 2 lbs and I was out of ideas. I talked to Kerri about my week and she tried to analyze what's going on. After asking a few questions she felt like she figured it out. I may be eating too much fruit. It's nice having the fruit be free but I need to eat it in moderation. She suggested that I look into counting the points of fruit or cutting back. For the rest of the week I cut back and told myself I would count the points of any more than 3 servings of fruit. After Friday, I even felt like I had started losing again. So I could have possibly lost almost 2.5 lbs last week but only 0.6 since my last weigh in. I'm not frustrated enough to stop though! I'm in it to win it!

I worked out like crazy last week and I absolutely loved it!! I wish I had time to work out like that all the time. The problem is though, my running is beginning to suffer. I usually average a 9'30"-10' mile but at the end of last week, I was at13.5' miles! I need to shift my focus to running as I have 3 races coming up. Besides, I won't have the time to go to so many classes in the future. I closed every night last week so there were more classes available to me. I read Runner's World and they always talk about how important it is to take it easy during your runs, slow down, and cherish extra rest days. I always thought 'they're crazy! I wish everyday was rest day. I'm tired and lazy and it takes all I have just to get out the door to start my run.' This week I understood what they meant. I made myself take a rest day on Friday and be okay with walking during some of my runs. I ran today after 2 days of rest and I averaged a 12' mile. Looks like I'm coming back!

The races I'm preparing for are the Wine and Dine Half Marathon (10/01), Space Coast Half Marathon (11/27), and the Walt Disney World Marathon (01/08). Yes... Marathon. Not half marathon... but a full 26.2. I ran 7 miles the other day and felt like I was going to die. Of course I was running at noon and it was close to 100 degrees outside but I was just miserable. I could barely run 7 miles, how am I going to run 26.2??? I try to picture myself at mile 17... It feels impossible. But of course, just a few months ago I would have said the exact same thing about 1 mile but today I posted to Facebook that I had a great little run. That little run was 4 miles. I am a new person. I am amazing!

I have to share my new favorite recipe! It's honestly the easiest recipe ever! It's full of protein and carbs; great for an after workout meal.

Chickpea Curry

ingredients: can of chickpeas, can of diced tomatoes with green chilies, 8 small gold potatoes quartered, can of vegetable broth, 1 Tbsp of curry, 1 Tbsp of coriander, 1 Tbsp of cumin, and if you like it spicy 1 Tbsp of Cayenne otherwise just a few dashes.

directions: Add all ingredients in a med/large saucepan over med/high heat. Cook for about 20 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender. Serve over brown rice.

The recipe says it makes 4 servings but I only at 1/2 cup of the curry at a time which came out to 8 servings. It's 2 points for the Chickpea Curry and 2 points for brown rice. Awesome and really delicious meal!!

Yesterday Kyle and I went to Universal Studios. We had a great time! I was prepared and brought 2 meals and lots of snacks. I felt very satisfied with what I brought despite all of the temptation. I came so close to having ice cream. It started raining, I was soaked and just wanted to sit inside somewhere. I even got the okay from Kyle to have ice cream. It was raining so hard so we didn't make it to the ice cream place right away. We just sat in a restaurant for cover. After thinking for a bit, I told Kyle that I didn't want the ice cream anymore. I was proud of my decision but secretly still wanted the ice cream. Once the rain let up a bit, we started walking again and walked past the ice cream shop, it was closed. Ice cream was not meant to be. I'm so glad it was closed. We ended up going home and I survived the whole day with just the food I brought. Well, with the exception of Butterbeer. It was a planned splurge. Well, for the most part. Kyle bought me my own not knowing I just wanted to share. It was so delicious! I of course could have drank half than thrown it away but it was just so delish!! I had the whole thing, and then looked up the points. I assumed it would be 20 points. I found a recipe online that included that nutritional facts, after doing the math I found out that Butterbeer is 19 points. What a deal! lol It was a lot of points but it was planned for, so worth it, and I have a whole week to burn it off. I would do it again so that makes it worth it.

I think that's all that's been going on. I'm sick of plateauing. I'm so super motivated right now. I feel that upping my activity has helped a lot. Not just increasing my activity points but when I work out, I'm less likely to splurge. I feel like I don't want to waste my work out on crap food so I'm more likely to eat well. I WILL lose again this week!

70 pounds GONE!!!!

Fortunately I lost that 4.2 that I gained. I knew it had to have been something weird.I actually lost 4.6. I'm thinking it was because I was sick and my body was just out of wack. But, even though I lost I had a horrible week. I had absolutely no self control! I even ate ice cream right out of the carton. I tracked it all though. For the first time, I ate all of my dailies, weeklies, and even ate a few of my activity points. The only activity I got was from my run on Wednesday and from walking at work. What's weird though about my eating was I would have a great breakfast, great lunch, I would eat crap, and then have a great dinner. So it was the 4-6 o'clock time that's an issue and it's when Kyle's not here. I talked with a friend about it and we realized it's probably boredom. So on Friday after work I went grocery shopping and did stuff around the house. I didn't eat anything bad! I stayed in control. Same thing for Saturday and Sunday. I'm glad I realized where the issue is and hopefully I can work on that and keep doing well.

Well I had strep throat about 2 weeks ago and was on antibiotics for 10 days. 2 days after I finished the medicine I woke up sick again. I went to the doctor on Sunday, I have mono. :( I haven't been on the scale since Kyle hid it and I'm okay with it now. But, I had to get on the scale at the dr's office. I was up 3 pounds. I deserve it. And at least I would be prepared for my meeting on Monday. Plus, it seems like I gain when I'm sick.

Monday I woke up even more sick. I just felt miserable. I called in to work. I laid down on the couch all day and watched Cheers on NetFlix. (I can't get enough!) I debated going to the meeting because I felt so crummy. I even debated if I wanted to weigh in this week at all. But I thought about how dedicated I am and I have to go. So I did. Kyle drove me cause he's the world's greatest boyfriend. I knew I was sick cause on the way over I was thinking how I didn't care if I gained or lost, I just wanted to go back to sleep. Meetings are like Christmas to me! I'm usually so excited to go.

I went to weigh in and the receptionist says "wow! you did it! 70 pounds!" I just stood there in shock. There's no way. I asked her to check again. And she showed me, sure enough... I lost 1.2 lbs!!! I've lost 70.6 lbs! I'm still in shock as I type this. It was sweet cause the receptionist got flustered and was so excited for me. It made me realize just what a big deal this really is. Wow! 70 lbs gone! That's the average weight of a 10 year old child! Gone. 70 pounds gone! I feel so excited and determined to keep going! Now if only I could start feeling better and kick this cold!

+4.2

It’s tough to say it but, I gained 4.2 last week. And honestly, it’s for no good reason. It’s not like I can say, “well I gained 4.2 but that whole pizza was so worth it!” I didn’t splurge on anything out of my points. I got my healthy checks and ate lots of power foods. And on top of that, I ran 4 days that week. I don’t know what I did wrong. It’s incredibly frustrating when you work hard and receive the opposite results.

My WI/meeting was last Monday and I didn’t want to know how much I had gained yet. I planned on looking at my weight tracker once I got home. (I had weighed myself at home and I was up 6 pounds so I knew I had gained.) So Kerri weighed me in and I asked her to not tell me or to even make a face. I wanted to enjoy and focus on the meeting instead of thinking of the number in my head over and over. So I did enjoy the meeting. Normally I’m talkative in the meeting but I was very quiet Monday. I was there to learn and not participate. I needed the meeting, the meeting didn’t need me. After the meeting, I talked to Teresa in the parking lot like we usually do and she was so funny cause she was like “aren’t you so curious to know how you did?!” So I told her she could look but to turn around and not make a face. So she did.

I got in the car and started driving home. I was starving. If there’s a word for more than starving… that was me. I wanted anything and unfortunately I was not prepared with food in my purse. I almost always have something but I was running late to the meeting so I had no time to grab something. Well, my curiosity was growing about how I did at weigh in. I gave in. And that’s when I saw the +4.2. I had to look a few times to make sure I was seeing exactly what I thought. How could this happen?!

Well now I’m more than starving and pissed. So I went to Wendy’s. I don’t even really like Wendy’s but it was right there. So I pull in to the drive thru and order and Jr Cheeseburger and a small fries. (What I think is funny is old Eileen would have easily ordered a double cheeseburger and large fries with a Frosty and thought nothing of it. So it’s funny that I’m retaliating with a small burger and fries. I guess I am changing.) I know it wasn’t the right thing to do and it’s not going to fix the number in my weight tracker and it’s certainly not going in a positive direction to change the scale for next week but I did it anyways. What’s done is done.

I got home and just wanted to sulk. I was mad. Why is this getting harder?? I thought it was going to get easier as I went on. What changed? How can I go back to it being easier?? Kyle and I went to Chick Fil A for a late dinner. I got soup and fruit because I only had 4 points plus left over for my day thanks to Wendy’s. And then I had a meltdown. A 3-year old melt down. I was so angry and it just came out with tears and all. Kyle is the best boyfriend ever and came over to comfort me while I wailed about how stupid fruit is cause it’s cold and dumb and I hate fruit cause it’s not fries. (I do actually like fruit, I just lost my maturity a bit there. Lol) Kyle calmed me down and I hoped that I would be okay for the rest of the week now that that was out of my system.

I have not been my best this week. I have worked hard but I will do dumb things like open a bag of baked Cheetos and just eat. In all honesty, I didn’t eat that much but just that fact that I’m eating out of control isn’t good. I made a snickers pie that’s 3 points a slice, then I eat 3 slices. I’m sabotaging myself. It hasn’t been all bad though. I’ve been running and getting a lot of points on my pedometer at work. I even ran on a treadmill, I HATE treadmills, but I knew I needed the exercise. I’ve been eating lots of power foods and have only eaten 10 of my weeklies (the 3 slices of Snickers pie)

Yesterday I babysat Lucas, the world’s cutest baby, and that helped me stay in control by not being home. I only had the food I brought. This morning I feel a lot stronger. I was at work earlier and one of my peers said, “oh yum, look over there, don’t you just want a juicy cheeseburger??” and I honestly didn’t. That’s how I know I’m strong today. I didn’t even want fries. Fries are my weakness, well used to be I should say. I was excited to eat the soup and yogurt I brought.

I feel like I’ve lost this week. I’m not sure I’ll fully recover the 4.2 gain this week but I’m hoping I made at least a dent in it. I don’t know how I’m truly doing because Kyle hid the scale. I asked him to hide it last week but now he won’t give it back. So Monday will be a complete surprise to me. We’ll see…

Just Run.

Things are going well. The last 2 days I have gotten up early to run. It's been great! I didn't make it this morning as I think my sore throat is getting worse and I just don't feel good. I think I'll try to run a little later. I like getting the run out of the way in the morning though. It's nice knowing when I'm tired after a long day that I've already gotten my exercise in.

Last week I lost 1 pound. Not bad. I was hoping for 2 to make it to 70 pounds but I'm okay with a 1 pound loss. I normally track on using my iPhone and a 3 month journal. The iPhone is easiest so most of the time I'll track on that throughout the day and then write in my journal at the end of the day. I like that you can write notes and thoughts in the paper tracker which is why I like both. Well I didn't track on paper on Fri-Sun. I just now updated my paper tracker and as I'm writing what I ate, I'm realizing how lucky I am that I lost that pound! I only had 14 APs that week! I normally have 40-50! I had 2 days where I just ate crap with a little fruit every now and then. This is exactly why I double track. Because it's easy to track on the phone but writing it really makes you look at what you ate again. I will do my best to do better this week. 70 pounds is so close I can taste it!!!!

I chose the smoothie instead!

It's so weird... I've been going through this rough patch that has lasted almost 2 months and then suddenly, I'm back! I remember waking up on May 22 and I felt like I woke up from a bad dream, figuratively. I'm not sure what changed but I just felt different. Since then I've stuck to my points like I used to. I don't snack without purpose anymore. I don't crave bad things over and over anymore. In fact, Kyle and I went to Sweet Tomatoes the other night with some friends. I always get frozen yogurt when I go. It's only 3 points and such a great treat. Well, I realized that I always get the frozen yogurt just because. So I listened to my tummy, it told me it was satisfied. I made it through the night and avoided the frozen yogurt! Then as I was driving home, all I could think about was ice cream. I was really proud of myself for avoiding the treat but now it's all I want. So I decided I would stop by Walgreens on the way home and get a single serving of Skinny Cow ice cream. I thought more about how I was proud of myself for avoiding the frozen yogurt and now it's null and void if I stop for ice cream on the way home. I still needed a dairy for the day, so I decided the best idea would be to have a smoothie when I got home. That way I could have a dairy and fruit. It's a better choice then ice cream. Decision is final.

So as I get home, Kyle told me he was proud of how well I was doing and that I avoided the frozen yogurt at Sweet Tomatoes. He then surprised me with a Weight Watchers ice cream bar. (I asked him to throw away all the ice cream in the freezer the week before. It was a tough decision but I wasn't in control with all of the ice cream in the house.) He had hidden it in the freezer to give me as a treat. He's so sweet. :) Well, I thought about it but I decided to stick with my smoothie decision. That's when I knew I was back. I'm back on board! It's good to be back! :)

My leader Kerri has created a WW group for a few of us on Facebook and I'm loving it. It's a good mix of people trying to lose and people on maintenance. It's great to see that you're not alone. People that I look up to in the meeting have problems too. It's nice to see they're real. This is a lifestyle and there will always be ups and downs. We're all there for each other wether we're celebrating or need some help and motivation.

Since I've started WW, I haven't had too many events going on so it's kind of just been lose the weight as it happens. Well yesterday I got a wedding invitation in the mail. The bride is a friend of mine from high school. Last year, before starting WW I went to another wedding with the same group from high school. When I look back on those pictures I look my heaviest. I even look uncomfortable I'm so big. I'm so motivated to look fantastic at this wedding. Most of the people there haven't seen me since the last wedding. What a great debut! I'm not sure what to set my goal at though. As I get smaller, my weight loss has slowed. I would love to average 2 lbs a week but I'm not sure that's possible or realistic. I have 8 weeks until the wedding so I'm hoping for 15 lbs right now. It's nice to have an anchor, something to look forward to.

Tough... Tough... Week

I don't know what happened. My week last week was close to perfect and this week has been almost my worst. Yesterday, I couldn't even stop myself. It's weird though... I was in an all day meeting yesterday. As we walk in there are Einstein bagels and fruit and yogurt parfaits. Fortunately I already had breakfast so I wasn't starving but I can't lie that I wasn't interested in the goodies. I knew I couldn't have a bagel cause it's totally not worth the points but I was eyeing the yogurt. Fortunately there was a nutrition label on the yogurt, unfortunately it was 8 points plus. I wasn't that hungry but my eyes sure wanted the yogurt. I managed to avoid it.

Later on in the afternoon, after we came back from the lunch break, there were giant chocolate chip cookies and brownies with icing on it. O...M...G... How can I resist this?! I had a friend in the meeting next to me and I told him that I needed his help. I didn't even want a bite because I knew that it wouldn't end there. My friend wasn't much help but fortunately Kyle, the love of my life, texted me and reminded me how close I am to 70 pounds and it's not worth it for one afternoon. I can't believe it but I stayed strong and didn't even have a bite of anything!

And then I got home...

I don't know what happened...

I first ate some baked chips, then some skinny cow ice cream, then some WW ice cream, and another WW ice cream, and then some pop chips, and it kept going on from there...

I didn't even feel guilty. I knew exactly what I was doing but I wouldn't stop. I felt like a rebellious child. And after all the goodies I ate, a friend invited me to dinner. He suggested Uno. I had just gone to Uno the day before with Kyle and was sad I didn't splurge on Pizza Skins. Could I avoid it again? I know that I could have it and work it into my points but after the binge I just had, it wasn't an option.

So I met them at Uno. I debated the spanakopeta. It was just too many points for the day I've had. So I had my usual salad and veggie soup. Fortunately the boys got pizza skins and I was satisfied with a taste.

I still can't believe how out of control I got yesterday. I ended up eating 50 points plus yesterday. My daily goal is 30 so I went way over my goal. I almost never even eat my weeklies and I had already eaten 15 weeklies on Monday so now I only have 14 weeklies left. And on top of all of this, I hadn't earned any activity points. I finally went this morning. I did not want to go at all but I made it there and gave it my all. I didn't hit my pedometer goal at work today but it wasn't a good day at work so it's okay.

I know I've gained so far this week. I'm hoping that I can do well the rest of this week and at least maintain by weigh in on Monday.