70 pounds GONE!!!!

Fortunately I lost that 4.2 that I gained. I knew it had to have been something weird.I actually lost 4.6. I'm thinking it was because I was sick and my body was just out of wack. But, even though I lost I had a horrible week. I had absolutely no self control! I even ate ice cream right out of the carton. I tracked it all though. For the first time, I ate all of my dailies, weeklies, and even ate a few of my activity points. The only activity I got was from my run on Wednesday and from walking at work. What's weird though about my eating was I would have a great breakfast, great lunch, I would eat crap, and then have a great dinner. So it was the 4-6 o'clock time that's an issue and it's when Kyle's not here. I talked with a friend about it and we realized it's probably boredom. So on Friday after work I went grocery shopping and did stuff around the house. I didn't eat anything bad! I stayed in control. Same thing for Saturday and Sunday. I'm glad I realized where the issue is and hopefully I can work on that and keep doing well.

Well I had strep throat about 2 weeks ago and was on antibiotics for 10 days. 2 days after I finished the medicine I woke up sick again. I went to the doctor on Sunday, I have mono. :( I haven't been on the scale since Kyle hid it and I'm okay with it now. But, I had to get on the scale at the dr's office. I was up 3 pounds. I deserve it. And at least I would be prepared for my meeting on Monday. Plus, it seems like I gain when I'm sick.

Monday I woke up even more sick. I just felt miserable. I called in to work. I laid down on the couch all day and watched Cheers on NetFlix. (I can't get enough!) I debated going to the meeting because I felt so crummy. I even debated if I wanted to weigh in this week at all. But I thought about how dedicated I am and I have to go. So I did. Kyle drove me cause he's the world's greatest boyfriend. I knew I was sick cause on the way over I was thinking how I didn't care if I gained or lost, I just wanted to go back to sleep. Meetings are like Christmas to me! I'm usually so excited to go.

I went to weigh in and the receptionist says "wow! you did it! 70 pounds!" I just stood there in shock. There's no way. I asked her to check again. And she showed me, sure enough... I lost 1.2 lbs!!! I've lost 70.6 lbs! I'm still in shock as I type this. It was sweet cause the receptionist got flustered and was so excited for me. It made me realize just what a big deal this really is. Wow! 70 lbs gone! That's the average weight of a 10 year old child! Gone. 70 pounds gone! I feel so excited and determined to keep going! Now if only I could start feeling better and kick this cold!

+4.2

It’s tough to say it but, I gained 4.2 last week. And honestly, it’s for no good reason. It’s not like I can say, “well I gained 4.2 but that whole pizza was so worth it!” I didn’t splurge on anything out of my points. I got my healthy checks and ate lots of power foods. And on top of that, I ran 4 days that week. I don’t know what I did wrong. It’s incredibly frustrating when you work hard and receive the opposite results.

My WI/meeting was last Monday and I didn’t want to know how much I had gained yet. I planned on looking at my weight tracker once I got home. (I had weighed myself at home and I was up 6 pounds so I knew I had gained.) So Kerri weighed me in and I asked her to not tell me or to even make a face. I wanted to enjoy and focus on the meeting instead of thinking of the number in my head over and over. So I did enjoy the meeting. Normally I’m talkative in the meeting but I was very quiet Monday. I was there to learn and not participate. I needed the meeting, the meeting didn’t need me. After the meeting, I talked to Teresa in the parking lot like we usually do and she was so funny cause she was like “aren’t you so curious to know how you did?!” So I told her she could look but to turn around and not make a face. So she did.

I got in the car and started driving home. I was starving. If there’s a word for more than starving… that was me. I wanted anything and unfortunately I was not prepared with food in my purse. I almost always have something but I was running late to the meeting so I had no time to grab something. Well, my curiosity was growing about how I did at weigh in. I gave in. And that’s when I saw the +4.2. I had to look a few times to make sure I was seeing exactly what I thought. How could this happen?!

Well now I’m more than starving and pissed. So I went to Wendy’s. I don’t even really like Wendy’s but it was right there. So I pull in to the drive thru and order and Jr Cheeseburger and a small fries. (What I think is funny is old Eileen would have easily ordered a double cheeseburger and large fries with a Frosty and thought nothing of it. So it’s funny that I’m retaliating with a small burger and fries. I guess I am changing.) I know it wasn’t the right thing to do and it’s not going to fix the number in my weight tracker and it’s certainly not going in a positive direction to change the scale for next week but I did it anyways. What’s done is done.

I got home and just wanted to sulk. I was mad. Why is this getting harder?? I thought it was going to get easier as I went on. What changed? How can I go back to it being easier?? Kyle and I went to Chick Fil A for a late dinner. I got soup and fruit because I only had 4 points plus left over for my day thanks to Wendy’s. And then I had a meltdown. A 3-year old melt down. I was so angry and it just came out with tears and all. Kyle is the best boyfriend ever and came over to comfort me while I wailed about how stupid fruit is cause it’s cold and dumb and I hate fruit cause it’s not fries. (I do actually like fruit, I just lost my maturity a bit there. Lol) Kyle calmed me down and I hoped that I would be okay for the rest of the week now that that was out of my system.

I have not been my best this week. I have worked hard but I will do dumb things like open a bag of baked Cheetos and just eat. In all honesty, I didn’t eat that much but just that fact that I’m eating out of control isn’t good. I made a snickers pie that’s 3 points a slice, then I eat 3 slices. I’m sabotaging myself. It hasn’t been all bad though. I’ve been running and getting a lot of points on my pedometer at work. I even ran on a treadmill, I HATE treadmills, but I knew I needed the exercise. I’ve been eating lots of power foods and have only eaten 10 of my weeklies (the 3 slices of Snickers pie)

Yesterday I babysat Lucas, the world’s cutest baby, and that helped me stay in control by not being home. I only had the food I brought. This morning I feel a lot stronger. I was at work earlier and one of my peers said, “oh yum, look over there, don’t you just want a juicy cheeseburger??” and I honestly didn’t. That’s how I know I’m strong today. I didn’t even want fries. Fries are my weakness, well used to be I should say. I was excited to eat the soup and yogurt I brought.

I feel like I’ve lost this week. I’m not sure I’ll fully recover the 4.2 gain this week but I’m hoping I made at least a dent in it. I don’t know how I’m truly doing because Kyle hid the scale. I asked him to hide it last week but now he won’t give it back. So Monday will be a complete surprise to me. We’ll see…

Just Run.

Things are going well. The last 2 days I have gotten up early to run. It's been great! I didn't make it this morning as I think my sore throat is getting worse and I just don't feel good. I think I'll try to run a little later. I like getting the run out of the way in the morning though. It's nice knowing when I'm tired after a long day that I've already gotten my exercise in.

Last week I lost 1 pound. Not bad. I was hoping for 2 to make it to 70 pounds but I'm okay with a 1 pound loss. I normally track on using my iPhone and a 3 month journal. The iPhone is easiest so most of the time I'll track on that throughout the day and then write in my journal at the end of the day. I like that you can write notes and thoughts in the paper tracker which is why I like both. Well I didn't track on paper on Fri-Sun. I just now updated my paper tracker and as I'm writing what I ate, I'm realizing how lucky I am that I lost that pound! I only had 14 APs that week! I normally have 40-50! I had 2 days where I just ate crap with a little fruit every now and then. This is exactly why I double track. Because it's easy to track on the phone but writing it really makes you look at what you ate again. I will do my best to do better this week. 70 pounds is so close I can taste it!!!!

I chose the smoothie instead!

It's so weird... I've been going through this rough patch that has lasted almost 2 months and then suddenly, I'm back! I remember waking up on May 22 and I felt like I woke up from a bad dream, figuratively. I'm not sure what changed but I just felt different. Since then I've stuck to my points like I used to. I don't snack without purpose anymore. I don't crave bad things over and over anymore. In fact, Kyle and I went to Sweet Tomatoes the other night with some friends. I always get frozen yogurt when I go. It's only 3 points and such a great treat. Well, I realized that I always get the frozen yogurt just because. So I listened to my tummy, it told me it was satisfied. I made it through the night and avoided the frozen yogurt! Then as I was driving home, all I could think about was ice cream. I was really proud of myself for avoiding the treat but now it's all I want. So I decided I would stop by Walgreens on the way home and get a single serving of Skinny Cow ice cream. I thought more about how I was proud of myself for avoiding the frozen yogurt and now it's null and void if I stop for ice cream on the way home. I still needed a dairy for the day, so I decided the best idea would be to have a smoothie when I got home. That way I could have a dairy and fruit. It's a better choice then ice cream. Decision is final.

So as I get home, Kyle told me he was proud of how well I was doing and that I avoided the frozen yogurt at Sweet Tomatoes. He then surprised me with a Weight Watchers ice cream bar. (I asked him to throw away all the ice cream in the freezer the week before. It was a tough decision but I wasn't in control with all of the ice cream in the house.) He had hidden it in the freezer to give me as a treat. He's so sweet. :) Well, I thought about it but I decided to stick with my smoothie decision. That's when I knew I was back. I'm back on board! It's good to be back! :)

My leader Kerri has created a WW group for a few of us on Facebook and I'm loving it. It's a good mix of people trying to lose and people on maintenance. It's great to see that you're not alone. People that I look up to in the meeting have problems too. It's nice to see they're real. This is a lifestyle and there will always be ups and downs. We're all there for each other wether we're celebrating or need some help and motivation.

Since I've started WW, I haven't had too many events going on so it's kind of just been lose the weight as it happens. Well yesterday I got a wedding invitation in the mail. The bride is a friend of mine from high school. Last year, before starting WW I went to another wedding with the same group from high school. When I look back on those pictures I look my heaviest. I even look uncomfortable I'm so big. I'm so motivated to look fantastic at this wedding. Most of the people there haven't seen me since the last wedding. What a great debut! I'm not sure what to set my goal at though. As I get smaller, my weight loss has slowed. I would love to average 2 lbs a week but I'm not sure that's possible or realistic. I have 8 weeks until the wedding so I'm hoping for 15 lbs right now. It's nice to have an anchor, something to look forward to.