Frustrated?

So I'm not sure how I'm feeling... hence the question mark in the title of this blog. I was pretty good this week, I measured and tracked everything. I only went over my daily points once and I used 1 weekly point. Otherwise I was either at or under my daily points. I was good with getting in my Healthy Checks and so I thought for sure I had lost this week. Now, I was right, I did lose this week. But, only 0.8 pounds. My leader Kerri would hate me for that statement. I know I'm not going to lose big every week but it's just slowed down a lot lately.

After I left my meeting yesterday, I went to... I can't even type it I'm so embarrassed... Chick Fil A! Can you believe it?! Miss will power went to Chick Fil A. Lately, everytime I leave my WW meeting, I feel the need to splurge because everyone talks about having things in moderation. I don't have anything that I crave. So I decided that because I was a week away from my next weigh in that I would go and have Chick Fil A. Now I didn't go crazy or anything. I knew what I was going to get and I knew roughly what the points would be. I didn't have breakfast and my lunch was only 2 points cause I had soup, fruits, and veggies. I had almost all my points to play with. So I get to Chick Fil A and I got a kids meal 4 count chicken nuggets, that came with a small fry, and then a medium chicken soup. Oh and of course a kids size Diet Coke because their fountain soda is my absolute favorite. All of that was only 15 points. I don't think that's that bad for a fast food splurge. I'm proud of myself for sticking to my guns and getting the kids sized meal. I debated getting a med size value meal but now I'm glad I didn't.

I didn't feel guilty at all. I was very curious to see how I would feel physically though. I assumed my tummy would be very mad at me but actually, I was just very sleepy and had a bit of a headache. I was prepared for the worst but I guess I had a small enough portion that it didn't kill me.

I thought a lot today about my eating. I am very serious about my weight loss and I think I can eat healthier than I have been. We have cake and cookies in the house because of Kyle's birthday and Christmas. I also thought more about what trends have been happening since my weight loss has slowed down. Honestly, I think it's the points plus program. I'm not saying the program doesn't work because I know it does. It has gotten me to increase my fruits and veggies a million times over. But, with this new plan, I have way too many points. I eat until I'm satisfied at every meal and I still have tons left over. I don't feel deprived from any food. Of course there are things like cheeseburgers and candy bars that I would love, and I know I can have them in moderation, but I don't want them in moderation, so I'd rather go without them at all. I'm okay with that now. It's me. I want to eat healthy. It's weird that I was almost feeling "pressured" to have a few "cheats" here and there and to "work them in to my points" but I don't want to. I like eating healthy. I know my body and if I'm seriously craving something I'll have it. Otherwise, I'm not going to "cheat" just to cheat. And I'm not going to look at my extra points in the day as "free points to eat whatever I want". I think that's what it was doing. I feel as though I have increased my carb intake because I can have bread with dinner now with all of my new points. I don't need bread though. I'm fine without it. I enjoy being healthy. If I don't eat all my points then I don't. And that's that.

I feel better.

I will still listen in the meeting about how it's important to not deprive yourself because I do agree. I am fortunate to have a really strong will power and drive to get this weight off! I'm done being fat! But I won't feel like I have to eat just because.

I really do feel better.

Sometimes it's good to just get it out.

Today I ate really well! Great lunch and snack. (got up way too early for breakfast) And when I came home, Kyle was making tortillas. I love tortillas. I knew I had already eaten all of my healthy checks and had plenty of points to spare so I helped myself to 2 of them. They were yummy and even more delicious because they were made by my love. :) I have 13 points left today and that's including the piece of cake I'm about to eat. I was never hungry today. Well not true, my bump for lunch came late so I was hungry then, but I was never hungry today because I deprived myself.

Hopefully I'll see better results soon. I can't wait to see what our meeting will be like on Monday. It's the first Monday of the new year and they're planning on it being packed. I will for sure get there early and get a good seat. I hope that I will have something great to report when Kerri asks how we did this week. And mostly I can't wait because it is week 16 which means I'll get my SAS (Stay and Succeed) charm to put on my 10% keychain. I'm excited to show all the new people that it can be done.

I am on my way to results not typical.