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Sunday, December 12, 2010

It's about time...

I have created this Word document at work called 'My Unpublished Blog'. It's obviously not a real blog, but it helps when I'm stressed to just type out what I'm feeling. I recently looked back at it and I loved reading it. I was so crazy motivated when I first started. I do have to say that I am still pretty motivated but it was great reading exactly how I felt when I started Weight Watchers. Now that I'm actually blogging I will have to post my old 'unpublished blogs' as one big one.

I started WW on 9.20.10 and tomorrow will begin Week 13. I have lost a total of 30.6 pounds so far. The journey has been amazing! I eat better, make wise food choices, and now I even exercise.

I think the hardest thing on this journey has to be realizing how I got this overweight. I had never, ever thought of myself as being emotionally attached to food. I had never really stopped myself from enjoying the foods that I loved (loved being the key word here) so I had never realized what would happen when I did. It was rough. At first, because I was so motivated by the program, it was easy for me. I couldn't wait to see the results so I worked really hard. So hard that I went on an 8 day vacation and not only went to a WW location to WI on vacation, I also lost 3.4 pounds after I got back. I was serious hard core. I still am, but I think that my mind is realizing that this is it. This is a lifestyle change for me. The last time that I lost this much weight, I was doing the Atkins program. And obviously, like all diets, it didn't last. I think deep down inside I realized that there was no way I could live the rest of my life eating that way. That's why I think it's been a little more difficult with WW this time is cause this is it. This is how it will be for the rest of my life. I will forever be counting points. But that also means I will forever eat healthy, live healthy, and hopefully live longer because of it. It's a very difficult decision to make. Deciding to change something for the rest of your life is huge. To me, it's like the decision to marry someone. This is forever.

I watched a movie recently called Food Matters. It was a documentary about food and how eating better can cure many diseases like cancer and diabetes. It was interesting to watch. A few people were a little too extreme and too west coast for me. They were all about eating raw organic foods and that's not realistic for my lifestyle. But there was one guy I really enjoyed. He was saying that 'when you eat better and take vitamins, you feel better, you are healthier, you are happier, you live longer, and it's easy so why not?' It's so true. Why do we not take care of ourselves. There are a lot of obvious answers like, life gets in the way, but really, what kind of life are you living if you don't take care of yourself. It was a good movie and I'd probably like to watch it again sometime.

The new WW program launched the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I had changed the way I was eating to be much healthier about 2-3 weeks before that so I didn't really change too much. I've seen some big results with the exception of one week so it's been working. With everyone else changing and seeing big results on the scale, I felt I needed to change something too. So last week I started exercising. I started the Couch to 5K running program. I found a great podcast to download to my iPod that plays my style of music (and not techno!). Kyle and I started together but unfortunately he's been working nights a lot lately and hasn't been able to run with me. I can't believe it but, I still run without him. I've stayed pretty motivated which I wasn't sure if I could without him being there. I've even been running after a busy day, 8:30 pm, in 39 degree weather! C'mon now, if that's not determination I don't know what is! My WW leader, Kerri, says that when she runs she talks to herself. I noticed on my third day of running, I was talking to myself. I couldn't believe it. I don't really have like a conversation but I will say things that motivate me to keep running. I don't know how loud I am cause my music's pretty loud. I'm sure people think I'm crazy. Today what kept me running was I pictured a scale at the end of the road, and the scale had my goal weight on it. I could see it and I was running like crazy towards it. Now I really think I'm crazy but you know what, it motivated me and it got me through the run.

I finished week 2 of the Couch to 5K program today. Week 1 was running 60 seconds then walking 90 seconds. Week 2 was running 90 seconds then walking 2 minutes. I really pushed myself W2D 2 and W2D3. I felt like I was really running more than just jogging. My feet left the ground and didn't just shuffle along. I'm so proud of myself that I keep doing it every other day. Even more proud that I've been doing it and I'm on my period. I've never ever exercised during that time of the month. According to the C25K program, I'll be able to run (the whole time) a 5K by the end of January. Now I just need a 5K to sign up for. Disney has a princess 5K in March. Maybe that will be a good one. I wonder how much I'll weigh by March...

Tomorrow's weigh in day. In the beginning, I was always so excited cause I just knew that I had lost. Lately, I haven't been too sure. I know that I haven't given in to temptation, I weighed and measured all of my food, and tracked everything that I've eaten. I don't think I can do much better yet I still get nervous. I have a scale at home that tends to be 2 pounds more than what the scale says at WW but I still never know. We'll see how good I've been tomorrow at my meeting. I'll keep you posted.

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