Sara saved the Eve...

Wonderful and unexpected is how I would explain tonight. Complete change of how I'm feeling. Sara called me tonight and finally after like 30 mins of us trying to figure out how to video chat (and an amazing surprise of a video chat with Thaty, Gio, and Thaty's mom!!!!! Seriously the best surprise ever!!!!) Sara and I have been talking all night. This has lifted my spirits so much! I thought this would be the worst night ever cause I'm alone but it's been spectacular being able to talk and see Sara for so long! She's the best. There's a reason she's my right arm.

Just saw the new WW commercial. J Hud looks incredible! It made me think of all the new people that will be at my meeting on Monday and how badly I want to lose this week to be that much more ahead of everyone else. I did have pizza tonight but I made it myself. It was delish and satisfied my craving! It did make me go over my points today but I'm still well within my additional weekly points. I'm so happy. :)

I seriously can't wait for Thaty to get back.... Hurry home Thaty.

Officially an Emotional Eater

So today is New Year's Eve. 2010 has been the best year so far... for sure! I was really looking forward to New Year's Eve. Kyle had an opening shift and I was off. Then Kyle's area is so incredibly short that they needed his help until 1am. So now I'm alone for New Year's Eve now. I'm not upset at Kyle at all because I completely understand that he's actually helping us out cause he's on double time all day today and tomorrow. We can really use the money cause we're looking to buy a house next year. The situation sucks though.

So now I'm just home alone for new year's eve and the first thing I thought was I want to order pizza and eat ice cream. That's what I really want, and really badly too. I will let my will power prevail but this is going to be difficult. I just want anything good for me. I guess this does make me an official over eater. I need food for the house so maybe I'll go to Publix and stock up on stuff like apples and grapes to munch on.

Happy New Year!

Frustrated?

So I'm not sure how I'm feeling... hence the question mark in the title of this blog. I was pretty good this week, I measured and tracked everything. I only went over my daily points once and I used 1 weekly point. Otherwise I was either at or under my daily points. I was good with getting in my Healthy Checks and so I thought for sure I had lost this week. Now, I was right, I did lose this week. But, only 0.8 pounds. My leader Kerri would hate me for that statement. I know I'm not going to lose big every week but it's just slowed down a lot lately.

After I left my meeting yesterday, I went to... I can't even type it I'm so embarrassed... Chick Fil A! Can you believe it?! Miss will power went to Chick Fil A. Lately, everytime I leave my WW meeting, I feel the need to splurge because everyone talks about having things in moderation. I don't have anything that I crave. So I decided that because I was a week away from my next weigh in that I would go and have Chick Fil A. Now I didn't go crazy or anything. I knew what I was going to get and I knew roughly what the points would be. I didn't have breakfast and my lunch was only 2 points cause I had soup, fruits, and veggies. I had almost all my points to play with. So I get to Chick Fil A and I got a kids meal 4 count chicken nuggets, that came with a small fry, and then a medium chicken soup. Oh and of course a kids size Diet Coke because their fountain soda is my absolute favorite. All of that was only 15 points. I don't think that's that bad for a fast food splurge. I'm proud of myself for sticking to my guns and getting the kids sized meal. I debated getting a med size value meal but now I'm glad I didn't.

I didn't feel guilty at all. I was very curious to see how I would feel physically though. I assumed my tummy would be very mad at me but actually, I was just very sleepy and had a bit of a headache. I was prepared for the worst but I guess I had a small enough portion that it didn't kill me.

I thought a lot today about my eating. I am very serious about my weight loss and I think I can eat healthier than I have been. We have cake and cookies in the house because of Kyle's birthday and Christmas. I also thought more about what trends have been happening since my weight loss has slowed down. Honestly, I think it's the points plus program. I'm not saying the program doesn't work because I know it does. It has gotten me to increase my fruits and veggies a million times over. But, with this new plan, I have way too many points. I eat until I'm satisfied at every meal and I still have tons left over. I don't feel deprived from any food. Of course there are things like cheeseburgers and candy bars that I would love, and I know I can have them in moderation, but I don't want them in moderation, so I'd rather go without them at all. I'm okay with that now. It's me. I want to eat healthy. It's weird that I was almost feeling "pressured" to have a few "cheats" here and there and to "work them in to my points" but I don't want to. I like eating healthy. I know my body and if I'm seriously craving something I'll have it. Otherwise, I'm not going to "cheat" just to cheat. And I'm not going to look at my extra points in the day as "free points to eat whatever I want". I think that's what it was doing. I feel as though I have increased my carb intake because I can have bread with dinner now with all of my new points. I don't need bread though. I'm fine without it. I enjoy being healthy. If I don't eat all my points then I don't. And that's that.

I feel better.

I will still listen in the meeting about how it's important to not deprive yourself because I do agree. I am fortunate to have a really strong will power and drive to get this weight off! I'm done being fat! But I won't feel like I have to eat just because.

I really do feel better.

Sometimes it's good to just get it out.

Today I ate really well! Great lunch and snack. (got up way too early for breakfast) And when I came home, Kyle was making tortillas. I love tortillas. I knew I had already eaten all of my healthy checks and had plenty of points to spare so I helped myself to 2 of them. They were yummy and even more delicious because they were made by my love. :) I have 13 points left today and that's including the piece of cake I'm about to eat. I was never hungry today. Well not true, my bump for lunch came late so I was hungry then, but I was never hungry today because I deprived myself.

Hopefully I'll see better results soon. I can't wait to see what our meeting will be like on Monday. It's the first Monday of the new year and they're planning on it being packed. I will for sure get there early and get a good seat. I hope that I will have something great to report when Kerri asks how we did this week. And mostly I can't wait because it is week 16 which means I'll get my SAS (Stay and Succeed) charm to put on my 10% keychain. I'm excited to show all the new people that it can be done.

I am on my way to results not typical.

Merry Christmas!

I am in Merritt Island celebrating Christmas with the family. Santa was way too good to me but I am very grateful for what I got. I got a lot of things that will help me with WW! Kyle got me a food scale that will also display the nutrition facts of that food! Genius! Kyle's family also got me the WW serving spoon/measuring spoon set. I haven't used it yet but I'm already in love with it. It's a discreet way of measuring my food. I got a WW cookbook and 2 Hungry Girl cookbooks! I'll need them because I also got a new food processor, convection oven, and the big item... a pink Kitchen Aid mixer!! I can't wait to get in the kitchen and continue being healthy!

With all of this positive WW stuff going on, I may have forgotten to mention all of the temptation here in my mom's house. I usually bring my own food here cause it's easier and safer for me. I know that there will be food for me if I bring it. I'm glad I did. Lunch yesterday and today was not healthy but fortunately it wasn't tempting either. It was stuff I don't like so yesterday I had a veggie burger wrap and today I had an egg white omelette sandwich. (The egg white omelette sandwich is the best cause I get a veggie, a dairy, a whole grain, and both of my healthy oils in!) Dinner last night was ham, which I don't like, so dad made me grilled chicken. For a side, the only thing I had was rice pilaf. Not ideal but I figured out the points first, 5, then portioned it at the table. It's my favorite rice so it felt like a splurge.

Then there's dessert... my favorite Christmas dessert is a petifore. Mom has them in the house. I'm still debating if I will have one. I think I can avoid them. I'm not drooling at the site of them and I will survive without them. I'm not depriving myself because if I drive home tonight without having one, I'll be okay. I won't be thinking about it forever. It's still just tough seeing all the goodies. I brought canned pumpkin and gingerbread cookie mix with me so make my own cookies that I can enjoy. They're huge and only 3 points! And super delicious too! While everyone sat down to have desserts last night, I stayed in the kitchen and made my cookies. I didn't want to seem rude but it was just a LOT of temptation for one table! lol

Dinner will be the same as last night for me just because there will be nothing I like or even want. It's fine with me. The chicken was good. I'll only have half the rice though and have carrots too this time. I'm not normally good about eating all of my fruits and veggies while I'm not at work but I've been really good about it this week. The only thing I've slacked on is running. I'm okay with that. I'll just get back in to it with the rest of america next week. :)

Merry Christmas!!

Feeling So Motivated!!

Lately I’ve just felt really motivated and I’m loving it! I’ve been eating really healthy lately. Almost everything I eat now can count towards at least one healthy check. Of course I will occasionally have a cookie here and there but I’ve been really good about limiting myself.

Things weren’t as easy the other night though. On Monday I went to the boys’ house for Gay Christmas. It’s a tradition that’s really fun. We all get together and watch this cheesy, gay, 90’s movie called 24 Nights. Well of course food is included in this gathering. I knew this ahead of time so I was prepared and made sure to eat dinner before I got there. I had made Diet Coke cupcakes and pumpkin cookies to bring to the party. I also packed a small cooler/bag of fruit and laughing cow cheese in case I got hungry while I was there. So I thought I’d be fine… and then I got to the party.

I don’t know why I’m like this but I get this idea in the back of my head that I can slip a little on Mondays after I’ve weighed in because I have a whole week to go until the next weigh in. Well this party is on a Monday night and unfortunately I was in one of those moods that I didn’t even want to portion out my dinner. I wanted to just pig out, even if it was something healthy, I just wanted to eat something aimlessly. Thankfully I have a pretty strong will power and didn’t give in to that temptation. I realize how hard I’ve worked to get to where I am and I don’t want to mess this up for anything. So I portioned out my dinner and did allow myself to have 3 of the cookies I just made. It was only 5 points. I’m okay with that.

So anyways, I get to the party, supposedly full from dinner and then I see the food they’re offering, popcorn chicken, fried ravioli, quesadillas, and cookies. Pretty much everything I used to love. I would have had no problem eating all of that prior to WW but now I can’t. Could I have eaten them and maybe stayed within my points? Yeah, maybe. But I also know myself pretty well, and I already knew I was in that mood where I just wanted to eat everything and not stop, so I didn’t have any of it. Well I did have the tiniest of tiny bites off of one of Kyle’s quesadillas but it was cold by then so it didn’t even taste good. It was for sure the most difficult situation I’ve been in since I’ve started but I made it through. I’m so glad I stuck to my guns and didn’t falter. I’m also super glad that I brought the cheese and fruit cause I did eat them. Oh, and did I mention that they had a bowl of those Little Debbie’s Christmas Tree snack cakes… I have been dying for one lately. Every time I see them on the side of the aisles at the grocery store it makes me want them even more. I know I can work one in to my points but I just don’t want to. I need to realize that my body doesn’t need food like that. It doesn’t help me at all.

Success Stories

I am very motivated by the success stories on the WW website. I’ve read them all. It motivates me because it proves that it can happen. I especially love the before and after pictures. I used to be sad that they didn’t say how long it took them to get that way, and I understand why they don’t, but I just wanted to know realistically how long do I have to wait. Now, I don’t care if it takes me 20 years to get to my goal weight. I know I’ll get there. I’m already on the path to eating healthier and that’s what really matters. If I keep on this path, the weight will come off.

As much as I love the before and after photos, I love their ‘tips’ at the bottom of their story the best! I love seeing the ideas of people that have joined the journey of WW and succeeded. I hate reinventing the wheel and love stealing ideas from others. :) So I am going to go through and compile my favorite ‘tips’ from the success stories on WW.

*When your clothes get too big for you, throw them out as soon as possible. For me, that was like closing the door on that chapter of my life. This is one I still need to learn…
*Read the Success Stories on WeightWatchers.com. Sometimes you don’t know anyone in your personal life that has the amount of weight to lose that you do. Reading about people like me really kept me motivated to lose the weight.
*My favorite products are the scale and the measuring cups. You can track that you’re eating 4oz. of grilled chicken, but how do you really know it’s 4oz. unless you measure it? It also helps when you’re at a restaurant and in other situations where you have to “eyeball” your portions. How can you guess what ½ a cup of rice is unless you’ve seen it before?
*Use a food scale. I started out measuring my foods and 20 years later the scale is in the same spot in my kitchen. You’ll never outgrow measuring.
*Mark the POINTS values on food items as you're putting them away after grocery shopping. This saved so much time. You don't have to look the information up each time you eat.
*I do a lot of my cooking and prepping for the week on Sundays. I’ll make a big pot of turkey chili and chop vegetables to save time throughout the week.
*When I feel deprived, I’ll just tell myself, just because I can’t eat this now, it doesn’t mean I can never eat it again. I just have to plan better tomorrow or next week.
*I economize my POINTS values. I've "skinnied" up many of my favorite recipes to make them Weight Watchers friendly. I use fat-free chicken broth instead of more fattening gravies, for example, and fat-free sour cream instead of butter. And I have finally learned that I can have a few bites of something without eating the entire item and be happy with that.
*Keep tracking. Even when it seems time-consuming, make sure to track your POINTS values. Tracking is the key to keeping the weight off.
*Use common sense. If a food sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
*Don't give up!
*Don't put a time frame on your weight loss. Establishing small realistic goals is important, but don't set yourself up for disappointment by pledging to losing 10 pounds in two weeks.
*Don’t give up the foods you love to eat. Learn to eat them in moderation. This is a lifestyle, not a diet.

Weigh in Day

Weigh in day is funny to me. I don’t know when I started becoming so aware of what I ate on the day of weigh in day but I’ve been very serious about it lately. I will make sure I get in all of my Healthy Checks checked off and I make sure not to eat too close to the meeting time. I think it’s silly now. I am very motivated by the scale going down but that’s not the only reason I’m doing this. And no matter what the scale says today, I’m gonna keep going. This is my lifetime decision. So today is weigh in day and I’ve eaten my breakfast and lunch and even had a hot chocolate. (And by hot chocolate I mean a WW smoothie mix, mixed with hot water. I only have ½ the pouch with 8oz of water and it’s only 1 PP!) I’m pretty conscious of what I eat everyday anyways but I don’t want to feel like I have to deprive myself every Monday.

Thaty works late today but is still going to try to make it to the meeting. I like when she goes with me. I like celebrating together and sharing stories from the week. I just really enjoy her company. She keeps me going way more than she even knows. I would not be able to do this alone.

Of course I do have Kyle! And he is really the biggest help of all! He has been trying to eat better with me which is such a great help! He has been running with me when he’s not working and shows me praise when I get out and run without him. He is truly the best partner!

I have noticed that I do eat more fruit on the PointsPlus program. Who would have thought… the plan works! lol I have increased my fruits and veggies by 2-3 servings a day which puts me over the minimum requirement.

It's about time...

I have created this Word document at work called 'My Unpublished Blog'. It's obviously not a real blog, but it helps when I'm stressed to just type out what I'm feeling. I recently looked back at it and I loved reading it. I was so crazy motivated when I first started. I do have to say that I am still pretty motivated but it was great reading exactly how I felt when I started Weight Watchers. Now that I'm actually blogging I will have to post my old 'unpublished blogs' as one big one.

I started WW on 9.20.10 and tomorrow will begin Week 13. I have lost a total of 30.6 pounds so far. The journey has been amazing! I eat better, make wise food choices, and now I even exercise.

I think the hardest thing on this journey has to be realizing how I got this overweight. I had never, ever thought of myself as being emotionally attached to food. I had never really stopped myself from enjoying the foods that I loved (loved being the key word here) so I had never realized what would happen when I did. It was rough. At first, because I was so motivated by the program, it was easy for me. I couldn't wait to see the results so I worked really hard. So hard that I went on an 8 day vacation and not only went to a WW location to WI on vacation, I also lost 3.4 pounds after I got back. I was serious hard core. I still am, but I think that my mind is realizing that this is it. This is a lifestyle change for me. The last time that I lost this much weight, I was doing the Atkins program. And obviously, like all diets, it didn't last. I think deep down inside I realized that there was no way I could live the rest of my life eating that way. That's why I think it's been a little more difficult with WW this time is cause this is it. This is how it will be for the rest of my life. I will forever be counting points. But that also means I will forever eat healthy, live healthy, and hopefully live longer because of it. It's a very difficult decision to make. Deciding to change something for the rest of your life is huge. To me, it's like the decision to marry someone. This is forever.

I watched a movie recently called Food Matters. It was a documentary about food and how eating better can cure many diseases like cancer and diabetes. It was interesting to watch. A few people were a little too extreme and too west coast for me. They were all about eating raw organic foods and that's not realistic for my lifestyle. But there was one guy I really enjoyed. He was saying that 'when you eat better and take vitamins, you feel better, you are healthier, you are happier, you live longer, and it's easy so why not?' It's so true. Why do we not take care of ourselves. There are a lot of obvious answers like, life gets in the way, but really, what kind of life are you living if you don't take care of yourself. It was a good movie and I'd probably like to watch it again sometime.

The new WW program launched the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I had changed the way I was eating to be much healthier about 2-3 weeks before that so I didn't really change too much. I've seen some big results with the exception of one week so it's been working. With everyone else changing and seeing big results on the scale, I felt I needed to change something too. So last week I started exercising. I started the Couch to 5K running program. I found a great podcast to download to my iPod that plays my style of music (and not techno!). Kyle and I started together but unfortunately he's been working nights a lot lately and hasn't been able to run with me. I can't believe it but, I still run without him. I've stayed pretty motivated which I wasn't sure if I could without him being there. I've even been running after a busy day, 8:30 pm, in 39 degree weather! C'mon now, if that's not determination I don't know what is! My WW leader, Kerri, says that when she runs she talks to herself. I noticed on my third day of running, I was talking to myself. I couldn't believe it. I don't really have like a conversation but I will say things that motivate me to keep running. I don't know how loud I am cause my music's pretty loud. I'm sure people think I'm crazy. Today what kept me running was I pictured a scale at the end of the road, and the scale had my goal weight on it. I could see it and I was running like crazy towards it. Now I really think I'm crazy but you know what, it motivated me and it got me through the run.

I finished week 2 of the Couch to 5K program today. Week 1 was running 60 seconds then walking 90 seconds. Week 2 was running 90 seconds then walking 2 minutes. I really pushed myself W2D 2 and W2D3. I felt like I was really running more than just jogging. My feet left the ground and didn't just shuffle along. I'm so proud of myself that I keep doing it every other day. Even more proud that I've been doing it and I'm on my period. I've never ever exercised during that time of the month. According to the C25K program, I'll be able to run (the whole time) a 5K by the end of January. Now I just need a 5K to sign up for. Disney has a princess 5K in March. Maybe that will be a good one. I wonder how much I'll weigh by March...

Tomorrow's weigh in day. In the beginning, I was always so excited cause I just knew that I had lost. Lately, I haven't been too sure. I know that I haven't given in to temptation, I weighed and measured all of my food, and tracked everything that I've eaten. I don't think I can do much better yet I still get nervous. I have a scale at home that tends to be 2 pounds more than what the scale says at WW but I still never know. We'll see how good I've been tomorrow at my meeting. I'll keep you posted.

Points Plus

So I am in my second week of PointsPlus, the new WW program and I’m liking it. I feel that I made a big change the weeks leading up to the new program, so it didn’t shock me too much. The new plan is all about eating healthier and making better choices with food. I’m glad that I listened to Kerri so much cause she was dropping hints about eating healthier.

I’m starting to feel the weight loss on my body. I don’t know if I’ve really gone down a size yet. I have one shirt that’s XXL and it just now fits, but still gaps a little at my boobs. And I have a jacket from Old Navy that’s an XL and fits nicely. It’s cool cause it’s a size smaller for me but, I have another jacket from Old Navy, that’s also an XL, and it won’t fit right until I lose another 10 lbs. I’m not unmotivated by it at all. I just can’t wait until I’m one size so I know what to bring to the dressing room.

Speaking of clothes, I’ve watched make over shows on TV about people who have lost tons of weight and still wear baggy clothes. I always thought they were nuts cause they should show off their new body. Well the other day I was wearing something that was big on me and I liked it. Not because it covered me, but because I was excited that clothes were big on me. In the past, either clothes just barely fit or I didn’t buy it cause there wasn’t a bigger size. As long as I can remember, clothes were never too big cause I have always been the biggest size in the store. So it made me wonder if I will be that weight loss story woman that likes to wear baggy clothes. I hope not. I am working too hard to not show off!

I haven’t had any “break downs” lately. I’m hoping it was just a phase I had to get through. I did have one week that I actually gained. I gained 1.2 lbs in week 11. I took it well. I was expecting it. And actually it had nothing to do with eating too much or poor choices; it’s cause I ate too little. I was pretty sick, with a cold, and there was one day that I ate maybe 4 Points. I just had no appetite. It’s interesting that in the past, I used to pray to get sick enough to not have an appetite so I wouldn’t eat and hope to lose a few pounds. Now, I get nervous and try to force myself to eat cause I want my body to continue to work properly and receive the right nutrition, especially when I’m sick.

I started the Couch to 5K program last week. It’s been interesting. I’ve been pretty dedicated about it. Twice now I have run on my own cause Kyle was working, in 39 degrees, and at night after a busy day. Last night was the first night I missed that I was planning on running but Kyle and I had a date and I worked the runs in to the rest of the week so I’m still right on track. Kyle and I are signed up for a 5k tomorrow to run through Sea World. Because I haven’t completed my training yet, I’m going to take it easy and mostly walk. It’s a fun race and they’re not timing anyone. So we’ll take our time, stop at the photo ops, and just enjoy ourselves. It’s been awhile since I’ve been to Sea World and it will be nice to see all the Christmas decorations.

I told Kerri that I started the Couch to 5K program. She asked if I was training for a particular 5K, I said no. She said that I should tell her when I’m getting close to completing the program. That would be great if she could help me find a good 5K and maybe we’ll even get to do it together. If she can keep up with me… :)

So I am doing really well and loving WW still. Right now I’ve lost 30.4 lbs. This is big stuff! I can’t wait to lose more. I would LOVE to be below 200 by Jan 3, that was my goal, but I’m not sure now. I’ll need to lose a little more than 3 pounds a week. That’s a lot. But maybe by 01.10 I’ll be there. My first goal was just to hit 10% by the New Year, I did that quickly! So we’ll see how close I get to my holiday weight loss goal.

It’s been way too long…

I can’t believe I haven’t blogged in so long! I’ve gone back to read this a few times because it helps motivate me. I did have a time where I was not motivated and I questioned if I actually wanted to keep going or not. Now it sounds crazy but I really did. I was motivated all through Disneyland and actually lost 3.4 lbs on vacation which is incredible! I did okay the week after and then I don’t know what happened. Kyle’s family came in to town and I was looking forward to seeing them again and having the time off of work. There were a few obstacles, for instance, the first place we go to eat is the Beirgarten in Germany. It’s a buffet and I don’t care for it whether I was on Weight Watchers or not. It was awkward not eating but I tried to make the best of it. Afterwards, Kyle and I went to Japan and I got sushi and miso soup. We walked around Epcot a little more and I did well until just before we left, his family was way ahead of us, and made a stop inside the Eddy’s ice cream shop. I don’t know what came over me. I sat in there with everyone while they were ordering their giant sundaes and ice cream cones. Kyle didn’t get anything although I’m sure he wanted something. He’s so great like that. In fact, we left them there to eat cause Kyle and I had to run to the store. So that was nice. As we left, I don’t know what came over me. I just started crying, almost bawling. Thankfully it was raining outside so I could cover my face and no one could see me, not even Kyle. I was embarrassed. I felt like a child. I was crying because I was leaving an ice cream shop, upset because I couldn’t have any. I have never felt this way about food. I have not let myself have things before but it was different this time. I was really having an emotional reaction. Honestly, I felt like I went to go see an old friend and I couldn’t talk to them. I had to sit there and see my friend hanging out with everyone else but me. Isn’t that sick?! I never realized that I had such an emotional tie to my food.

I sobbed the whole way back to the car. I know I’m doing the right thing and I didn’t want to turn back on the decisions and progress I’ve made, but it wasn’t getting easier. I think the reason things are different this time is all the other diets I’ve been on, I somehow knew, deep down inside that they’re just temporary. I’m not going to deprive myself of carbs for the rest of my life. But with joining WW, I’m realizing that this is it. This is how I choose to live the rest of my life. I want to be happy. The ice cream did bring me happiness at times, but how long did it last? The happiness I’m giving myself with this new lifestyle will last forever!!

I had a few other “episodes” where I would just burst out with emotional tears over what seemed to be the silliest things. And after that tough week, I go to weigh in, I lost 0.8 lbs. What a bummer! It’s a loss, I know, trust me I was excited about that fact, I just wish it was a bigger loss for what a tough week I went through. I don’t know what changed but last week, I just kinda snapped out of it. I could feel everything including my whole attitude change for the better.

Weight Watchers is changing their whole plan soon and I think it cannot come soon enough. Some stuff has leaked on the internet and of course everyone has their speculations. And Kerri will talk about stuff in our meeting but of course nothing more than a small hint. What I’ve gotten from the whole thing is that there’s going to be a bigger focus on fruits and veggies. They want to make sure we’re making healthy decisions instead of choosing low point processed food. For example, a banana is 2 points and ½ c of Publix ice cream is 1 point. Duh! The ice cream is less points and tastes soo much better! So that’s what most people would choose even though it’s not the best choice for healthy eating. So on the new plan, they said that all fruit is free! That’s awesome! Now the banana is healthier and 0 points.

Last week I started thinking smarter about what I eat. And also focused on having more fruits and veggies, making sure I ate all of my Healthy Checks. Well I am very excited to say that after my attitude change and trying to make smarter food choices, I lost 4.6 lbs! This is week 9 people!! That’s a weight loss that’s more common for week 1 or 2 and I’m doing that weeks down the road from that! I’m so amazing!!

With that big weight loss last week, I have officially crossed the 20 lb mark. I’m at -22.4 lbs. I am so fired up! In the beginning, I wasn’t as excited about the weight loss cause I’ve done it before. I’ve lost 5-10 lbs before. But now that we’re getting into 20+ lbs… now we’re talking! This is getting big! I have 2 big milestones just on my horizon, 10% weight loss and -25 lbs. I’m 1.9 lbs away from one and 2.6 lbs from the other. They’re so attainable! I love that WW encourages small weight goals like 5%, 10%, and celebrates every 5 lb! It’s so motivating cause it seems so much more realistic. Right now I have 77.6 lbs left to lose. That number is daunting and seems sooooo far away. But knowing I have other milestones to hit before them makes me know that I can do it! I just don’t know if I want both milestones at once, or have one this week and one the next. We’ll just have to see what happens.

I have to stay motivated

Well I made the mistake of buying a scale. I really wanted to get it to motivate me and also to help Kyle track his progress cause he’s eating better too. Well I get it home, put the batteries in, and then debated to get on or not. I mean, I honestly want true excitement on my face on Monday when they tell me how much more I lost. I was hoping for 2-3 pounds and then I’d be all excited with Thaty cause she’ll lose too. This was the vision in my head. Well I just couldn’t resist seeing the results of how well I’ve been doing so I got on the scale. It said 242. I thought there is no way! It has to be wrong. So I tried again. 238.8, then 238.6, then back to 238.8. I peed. 238.4. Really?! How could I have not lost anything?! Nothing at all??? What did I do wrong?? I have changed everything about the way I eat. All I can do is hope my scale is wrong and that I don’t get discouraged because of the number.

I can’t lie and say I’m not upset or feeling down about myself because I am a little. But I have not lost all hope. Thank god for Thaty! She is really keeping me in this WAY more than she knows. I just have to keep eating well, keep tracking what I eat, and read more success stories on the WW website. Those really motivate me. People went through divorce and still came out great. I’m in a super happy and loving relationship, easy job, and good life, there’s no reason I can’t do this. C’mon Eileen!! You got this in the bag!! You can do it!!! :):):):)

Starting to become routine

So I had trouble waking up again today. I’ve been trying to wake up and get up and to work by 08:30 now. I made it by 8:40 today so not bad. But one thing I’ve been really proud of is that I have been eating breakfast every day. Even though I was so tired this morning and wanted to get to work so I could get home earlier, I still took the time to make sure I planned food for the day and got breakfast ready. I haven’t really had time to make my eggs lately so I’ve been making oatmeal with milk and berries. So good and actually really filling!
Today is Wednesday which is normally my day off but I am at work. Jenn asked if I would change my days off cause there was a MANDATORY meeting today from 1200-1500. A 3 hour mandatory meeting?! What could this be about?! Well we got an email yesterday saying lunch will be provided so now I’m thinking it’s a “thank you” celebration for helping with trainer appreciation last week. Great! I’m sure there will be more mickey premium bars to me to avoid! It’s really nice of them to do this and old Eileen would be really excited about it because of the food but new Eileen is excited for the challenge of seeing how I’ll respond to this challenge. I brought my own lunch (lentil soup! Yummmm!! And a hot dog) plus some snacks for later on in the day. I’m not sure what the lunch is today but this could potentially be the first day that I will be in an awkward social situation because I will be eating my own food. I just need to remember that I am so proud of my decision. I chose to eat healthy today. And I am so awesome for that!! :)

Last night, for whatever reason, when I got home I was starving!! SOOOOO HUNGRY!!!! I haven’t felt that way since I joined WW. I tried my best to make good decisions for dinner. All the chicken is frozen, rice would take too long to cook, and I needed something now. Also, it was already 7pm. Kyle and I are doing our best to try and not eat so late. I was so hungry I even went as far as looking at the nutrition facts at Chic Fil A. OMG! It would have been 18 points for nuggets and fries. Kyle wasn’t much help cause he really wanted Chic Fil A too. He said I should get the kids meal so it would be fewer points. I would still be hungry though. And I don’t need that bad food, especially not in the beginning. So I said no, we’re going to make a pizza! (I’m proud of myself though for not actually going to Chic Fil A and then finding out what the nutrition values are. I at least looked online first. And btw, a large cookies and cream shake which I have enjoyed on many occasions…. 19 POINTS!!! WOW!!!! Maybe I’ll just have a sip of someone else’s if I’m having a craving!)

So I got out the whole wheat pizza crust (15 points for the whole thing! Not bad when you cut it into slices!) and the sauce (very low in points, maybe 1 pt. for the whole thing) and the fat free cheese. Then Kyle suggested we put veggies on it. I am NOT a fan of veggies on pizza. To me, pizza’s a pig out food, no veggies! Gross! To me that’s like putting fruit on desserts. What’s the point of having dessert then if you’re going to put healthy stuff on it! But I thought, this is new Eileen and I am going to put veggies on my pizza. Kyle spread the sauce and cheese while I cut up green pepper and onion. I loaded my half up with the veggies. You could for sure tell which half was mine. I even asked Kyle to put a little more sauce on my half cause I wanted the tomatoes. Well as I’m taking the pizza out of the oven it smelled heavenly! (btw- I had a bag of popcorn while waiting for the pizza to curb my starvingness into hunger.) I never thought that I would think veggies on a pizza would smell good! NEVER! So I cut it up in to slices and thoroughly enjoyed my 2 slices! So delicious! I also really seasoned it up with thyme, garlic, oregano, salt, and pepper. Then for dessert I had Publix ice cream that’s made with Splenda and a little whipped cream on top. It was only 2 points! I ate the ice cream right out of the measuring cup. So all in all a great night, even though I was starving when I got home. It’s all about knowing how to handle those situations.

Starting to become routine- pt. 2

Jenn said to me was “we at least have fruit”. I appreciated that she was looking out for me. But I really kept thinking about how proud I was of my decision to eat better. So as people were in line for tacos, I made my way over to the microwave to heat up my soup. It wasn’t awkward at all. But I was prepared for when we all sat down to eat, that’s when it would be obvious that I had something different. I didn’t know what to say if someone asked though. I really thought that the ladies from F&B would say something. They have a comment about everything. It would have been something simple like “Eileen, why you ain’t eating tacos?” I didn’t know what to say back. I mean really I wanted to say “well I have made a change in my life and I care about what I eat” but I obviously wouldn’t say that out loud at least. So I’m going to ask Thaty what she thinks she would say in that situation.

Thaty said I should just say “I’m on a diet” or “I was really looking forward to what I brought for lunch”. I think that’s what I’ll say. Either of them works and really, it’s none of their damn business.

So here are a few things that I am looking forward to losing weight for:

• Crossing my legs

• Having more stamina with Kyle

• Fitting in my clothes better

• Having a slimmer face

5.4 pounds down, only 94.6 to go!

So last night was my second WW meeting and after weigh in, I learned that I had lost 5.4 pounds. I was excited but I don’t know, I feel like I just wasn’t 100% excited. I am really proud of myself for changing my eating habits. And I know 5 pounds isn’t a whole lot but I can honestly feel it. I feel it around my stomach the most which is the BEST. Also, I notice it in my nails. No my nails aren’t losing weight but, they’re just so much stronger and healthier. And the white is so white now. That’s cool to see that change so quickly. I painted them last night so when I take the polish off in a week it’ll seem even more white cause I’m sure they’re only going to get even stronger and whiter. But back to my 5.4, I don’t know if I was expecting more or what. But the thing is, that’ll probably be the most I lose in a week ever. I kinda think I’m just not super, super excited because I’ve lost a big number at week one before. I’ve been excited about the 5.4 pounds before. I just want to know what is going to be different this time.

I was on the WW website and I was reading people’s blogs and thinking about yesterdays WW meeting. Everyone is talking about how you can still eat the foods you like, but just in moderation. It really got me thinking. I love Five Guys. When I’m trying to eat healthy, I need to stay really super far away from Five Guys. Those burgers are so delicious and a million points! But then I started thinking even more! So if this is going to be a total lifestyle change, I need to realize that there is another Five Guys burger in my future because that is something I’m not willing to give up for life. So I could maybe eat half a burger and work it in to my points. I could even add the fries in but just make sure I don’t overdo it. I think I’m getting it. I will continue to eat super healthy for now while my will power is really strong but I will eventually work in foods that I love. Honestly, I’m feeling better about things just typing this blog. I can’t wait to have half of that Five Guys double cheeseburger! (I know it would make more sense to have a whole single cheeseburger but I LOVE biting into a double.)

So I have set goals. My 5% goal is 12 lbs. My 10% goal is 24 lbs. And my total goal is 100 lbs. That’ll put me at 143 lbs. That sounds perfect to me and is right in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height. Also, 143 means I love you. :) So I’m only 6.6 lbs. away from my first goal. I’m sure I will achieve that in the next 2-3 weeks. I think it’ll take me 2 years to get to my ultimate goal. I hope it doesn’t take much longer but if it does then it does. I can’t give up! I can’t wait to be a lifetime member. Maybe I can make a career out of it. Be a full time mom and a part time leader.

Will this will power last?!

So I have been really great about the Mickey Premium bars in the freezer but then last night, when I was the only one left in the bungalow, I wanted to sneak one so badly. Who am I sneaking from? The answer is myself. But it was just weird that that was my first thought as soon as the last person left. I even went as far as going to the freezer to look at them. I fortunately stuck to my guns and didn’t have one but I was still disappointed that that’s the first thing my mind went to. That’s a behavior/thought I will need to change. Imagine I lost a few pounds, doing well, then the pounds start to plateau and I am getting discouraged. I don’t think I would have been able to stay away if that was the case. Well, good that I realize it so I can start changing.

Last night I made my mom’s lentil soup. SOOOOOOO DELICIOUS!!!! The recipe called for 1lb of hot Italian sausage, OMG! That would have killed the soup on points! So I omitted it and instead threw in some more lentils. And then I added some chili powder cause it didn’t have the kick I like without the sausage. Oh man it is so good!! I guess it would be good too with a pound of ground turkey but I love it just as it is. It makes 10 cups. I put it in 5, 2 cup containers and their each 2 points and very filling. 6 of the items in the recipe are filling foods too! I can’t wait to have it on cold nights but until then, I’ll eat it at my desk with the fan on.

So I got really great news yesterday that Thaty is going to the WW meeting with me today!!! She said that after seeing me so excited, passionate, and motivated about the program she just had to join. That makes me feel really good! That motivates me to keep going too. I understand that the Monday meeting isn’t convenient for her and that’s okay if she’s not there but I just love knowing someone’s in the same boat as me. We can share recipes and tips. And also call each other in times of need. Like when I really want a mickey premium bar. :)

Today I went for another 25 min bike ride around the studios with the office. Franklin didn’t come this time so I played the role of out of shape fat girl. I don’t know what it was about today but I was huffing and puffing before we even got to the half way point. And I was really, really far behind Theresa and Jason. I got a little discouraged but then I remembered that I did it yesterday, I can do it today. I also thought about how proud of myself I would be when I was done. So I kept going. I didn’t care that I was so far behind because I was at least out there and biking the same distance as the others. I really did want to quit soo badly! But I did it! My legs were like jell-o afterwards but I did it.

Day Four and Going STRONG!!! pt.2

So the office is boring and slow today and I didn’t get to ride my bike today cause we parked backstage so I asked the office if they wanted to go for a bike ride. Surprisingly, they all said yes! No one ever wants to bike with me! So we left gathered up some good bikes and rode all the way to Fantasmic, up over that nasty hill, and down the other side to Oscars. Then we turned around and went the other way, up the other hill. My legs started to burn on that second hill. As we’re headed back to the bungalow, I said “Let’s keep going to costuming”. So we did! We biked to costuming and right around the LMA area I was getting pretty tired. I was winded and starting to sweat but I kept going cause I just thought about how much better this is than sitting and doing nothing at my desk. We made it all the way to costuming and then back to the bungalow. When we got back we realized we were gone for 25 mins! That’s so awesome!! And… they all said they would go with me again tomorrow!! It’s nice to have someone that wants to bike with me! It’s such great exercise. Woo hoo!

So after the bike ride I drank 4 glasses of water. I wasn’t too hungry at first but about an hour ago I got snack hungry. I have 94% fat free popcorn on my desk and carrots and cucumber in the fridge. I thought for sure I would go for the popcorn but I went for the cucumber. Who am I?! It’s funny that you can sometimes even surprise yourself. I mean really, I love popcorn and it doesn’t feel like diet food but I never thought I would pick the cucumber instead. I REALLY hope these awesome habits stay!

Day Four and Going STRONG!!!

I’m enjoying another strawberry bar today. Fortunately there were some left over from last week. 2 points, woo hoo! There are still some mickey premium bars left but today, I’m not even tempted to have one. No thank you!

I thought yesterday would be a challenge for me but it wasn’t. Yesterday was Lila’s first birthday so Anna threw her a party. Birthday cake is sooo good and pretty much my favorite thing in the world. And I went without eating before. I wanted to at least have popcorn or something before we left but we were really pressed for time. So Kyle and I get over there and there were 2 huge trays of fruits and veggies!!! Woo Hoo!!! Yay! Thank you Anna!! (Out of body experience right now, who am I?! a week ago I would have never been excited about a fruit and veggie tray. In fact, I would have been upset there wasn’t more junk food.) So I filled my plate with them and ate them up! I sat at a chair, pulled out my phone, and tracked everything as I ate it. C’mon that is commitment!! Fruits and veggies at a party and taking the time to write down every little thing I ate. Including the diet coke I drank. I know dc is 0 points but I want to track when I drink it. I track EVERYTHING! Good for me!!

So after the party, Kyle, mom, and I went to Whole Foods for a cooking class on how to make sushi. This is my third class and they’re great. This class was only $5 and it was nice to have people to go with me. This was also the first class that I’m going to that you get to make the food too! We ended up making a lot of food! We first made California rolls. The way we’re used to in America. They had avocado, cucumber, and imitation crab in them and they were sooooooo delicious!! I only had 2 because I wanted to save the others and I wanted to make sure I watched my portions. I didn’t want to eat the entire first one and not be able to try the other stuff we would make. I’m so awesome. So then we made sushi maki which is traditional Japanese way of making sushi. The seaweed is on the outside, about half the rice, and they’re much smaller but… still just as good!! I didn’t think I’d like it without all the rice but it was really good and half the points! The third thing we made was cone sushi. It was different. You wrap the seaweed like a cone. Not sure if it will be made again because people were having trouble eating it. Cool idea but not too practical.

After class Kyle and I both left with a box full of sushi and a new love for the Japanese food! The possibilities are endless!! So we shopped around Whole Foods to buy the materials we need. First thing on the list was seaweed. WOW! It was $22 for 50 sheets! That’s expensive! But it’s 25 meals for me and Kyle so it was worth it, especially if it will get us to eat healthier. Then we got brown rice vinegar. That’s what makes the rice sticky. We are going to make them with brown rice at home. And then we got the mats to roll them and they came with rice spoons.

Kyle and I were driving home all excited about our new sushi making skills and we were so excited, we decided to go to Publix and get more stuff. We got edemame, sweet potatoes, and wasabi. Then I got strawberries and fat free cream cheese to make dessert sushi! I’m excited to try that! That class was honestly the best $5 I’ve ever spent! I can’t wait to eat healthy and impress our friends with our new skill!!

My Unpublished Blog- finally published

So today is day 2 of Weight Watchers and I’ve been great so far. This week was a really tough week to begin eating healthy because it’s trainer appreciation week. Yesterday there was a basket of candy. GOOD candy! Snickers, Twix, M&M’s, starbursts, and I mean they are big bars too! I would have easily had a least 2 a day in the past but now, I’m not having any. I could of course work maybe half of a bar in to my points but honestly, I don’t even want to. I’m so proud of myself for saying no and I want to be able to go home and tell Kyle that I avoided a temptation. I told him that sometimes I will need a “great job!” here and there. He’s the best though. He’s so supportive and I think that’s what will get me through my really tough days.

Today at work though, we picked up 15 cases of mickey premium bars, 5 cases of strawberry bars, and 1 case of mickey ice cream sandwiches. OMG! When I joined WW on Monday, I knew this day of blissful ice cream was coming and I thought for sure I would have to have at least one. I could make it work somehow. Well the day’s here. And I’ll admit that I did go over to the freezer cause I wanted to know what the nutrition label said… 330 calories, 22 g fat, 2 g fiber which is a whopping 8 points, for that small bar of ice cream. Now, I do LOVE Mickey Premium bars and will probably have one in the future but I was thinking about how unspecial it is to eat it at my desk in the office by myself. I won’t enjoy it as much as I would if I was at the parks with Kyle. So I have decided to not have one. And I don’t really feel deprived. I’m more proud of myself for not having one than I would enjoy eating it.

So here I sit at my desk, with my Campbell’s Select Harvest Light Southwestern- Style Vegetable soup and 98% fat free hot dog with whole wheat/grain bun. It doesn’t sound exciting but honestly, I’m enjoying it. I am so proud of me!!

GO EILEEN!!!!!!